Now's your chance to be a gambling man, ripping the monetary guts out of a fruit machine with all the panache of The Man Who Broke The Bank At Monte Carlo.
And it's just like Monte Carlo at Joe Scarface's One Arm Bandit Emporium in Fruit Machine' Simulator, where you're faced with the traditional fruit-machine layout: three rotating reels marked with fruit and bell symbols.
Electronic money pays for your plays, and when you get a winning combination, only electronic cash is awarded, adding to a running total at the top of the screen.
Hold and nudge options are available, just like in the real coin-eaters - but only between 40p and £ 1.40 can be gambled during each turn, so dig deep into the pockets of your 501s, crack open your plumped-up piggy bank and let gambling commence. It may be immoral, but then maybe it's better than shooting things.
'I've walked past fruit machines in chip shops much more elaborate, complicated and fun than this. If you're into gambling, stick to spinning wheels in the real world.'
'Just try to imagine the most boring, monotonous and badly-presented machine you've ever seen. Then fill the money slot with chewing gum and imagine the fun you'll get out of it. Then you've experienced Fruit Machine Simulator…' P
'I've never seen the appeal of fruit-machine simulators on computers - without the thrill of losing or winning real money the game seems pointless. The graphics and sound in Fruit Machine Simulator are unimpressive, and the fruit machine idea just isn't playable. Maybe a few more subgames would have helped; but without the Incentive of winning money this won't have much appeal.'