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Hhr. Hrphmm. No, my Marlon Brando impression *doesn't* commit itself well to paper. So, then, The Godfather. A sprawling trilogy of movies with that music from the Castrol GTX ads. And this is? An arcade game. No family-controlling, no Sicilian kissing, no drug-importing. You just play Michael Corleone as he strolls through five levels of sparse gunfire - if he can survive the paltry shootings on these levels, he's fit to govern the Mafia in the USA. Fair enough.

Each level is packed with graphical detail. As you progress, you go through each decade from the '40s to the '80s. The detail of the backdrops is excellent, and Mike keeps stopping to study his fingernail collection.

Sadly, though, it turns the game into something of a slideshow. You walk very slowly, and the bullets fly like anaesthetised bumble bees. It's the wacky slow-motion world of La Cosa Nostra. This, presumably, is the price you pay for having such detailed sprites and backdrops.

The best things about the films are ignored. The Godfather is just a series of slow-combat sequences where you have to kill people or avoid being killed. The graphics are gorgeous and the intros, outros and other peripherals are superb. It feels like the point has been missed though. You have to keep the Family alive, but you never get to do any of the great things they do, like frightening hamsters. Pity, because otherwise it's utterly beautiful to behold.

1. It's got elements of a very upmarket sideways-scroller like Shadow Warriors or Double Dragon, but the class oozes out.
2. It's as slow as, well, as a Mafia-related slideshow, really.