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Printed on the inlay of Kettle are the words "Action-packed with nerve tingling excitement". Did Commodore User say this, or maybe C&VG? No, Tony Crowther - the author of the game! - did! Very modest of you, Tony, but does your game really deliver like you say it does?

Kettle can be played alone or with a friend using the split-screen technique. The idea is to help your kettle escape a complex underground system made up of thirty levels.

To escape from each level you must locate a tin opener, which is hidden in one of the bubble-emitting bowels. Contact with one of the bubbles drains your energy so, for protection, you are provided with your own little minder or 'crizza', which orbits round you and fires at the player's command.

To locate the tin opener you must smash your crizza into one of the bowels ten times. Unfortunately, you don't always find a tin opener. Aliens may appear and drain your energy or the bonus points which boost your score.

In the two player option you may choose to help or hinder your opponent. You could also let your opponent do all the dirty work then nip in and reap the rewards (Remember Spy Vs. Spy, Tony?).

Unfortunately, Kettle's two player option is far from brilliant. Other split-screen games like Ballblazer and Pitstop II are unbelievably thrilling when played with a friend. In complete contrast, Kettle in two player mode is laughable. Your kettle becomes indistinguishable from your opponent's and the game becomes a frantic case of waggle the joystick and hope for the best.

The one player game is much better and is reasonably enjoyable, even small amounts of addition crept in until the ridiculously difficult fifth level killed it off.

As in all Crowther games, the graphics are large, bold and very colourful. The scrolling is smooth and everything is well defined. But nothing struck me as particularly exciting or inspiring.

Upon loading you're treated to a 1986 12" disco mix of 'Polly Put The Kettle On' (I know my nursery rhymes!). This rather appropriate tune is really very good, unlike the in-game music which is naff. Fortunately, it is possible to choose sound effects during the game which are much better and more helpful.

It is a real shame about the two player game on Kettle. Everybody loves a good two player game, and this one could have really worked. Sadly, Crowther cocked it up and we're left with another mediocre title.