Stiffen those upper lips and cover those table legs* because here we have a simulation that goes back to the glorious days of the Great British Empire - Zulu Wars from CCS.
As British commander General Chelmsford, you have to hold the lines against the massed hordes of uncivilised natives in an attempt to raise the imperial flag over this particular piece of Southern Africa.
So with the order 'joysticks fixed lovely boys', away you go. And with natives to the North, South and East, things start out looking a bit grim.
Your army is split up into regiments of footsoldiers, mounted infantry and cavalry (all dressed in brilliant red) which you manouevre via joystick or keyboard around a scrolling map, which shows one twelfth of the playing area.
The Zulus are controlled by the computer (making this a one-player only game). They aren't into complex strategy - and instead seem to make a bee-line for wherever your commander seems to be positioned. Rather they have ferocity and weight of numbers on their side... yes, there are lots of them.
There are three levels of difficulty, each with more assagi-wielding dervishes than the last, the final level making things look really desperate.
Combat is by shooting (which the Zulus can't do) or close combat, at which they turn out to be much better. So pretty quickly you develop a strategy consisting of attempting to keep the massed hordes at rifle range without resorting to fisticuffs.
Hardened veterans might find the system and the graphics a little too simplistic but it's not bad for beginners though. Or for warped personalities that want to recreate rush-hour Victoria Line experiences.