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Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to see the Charlton win away (hoi)."

Yes, boys and girls. ladies and gentlemen, aardvarks and slightly malnourished hippopotami, it's that time of year again. A tune of drunken debauchery, top football matches, The Great Escape, chocolate sickness, and loadsapresents. Oh, and crap festive computer games like this one. Get ready, here comes the plot...

Someone's spiked Santa's Christmas pud, and the old duffer is laid out in the Casualty department of he local hospital, with a serious case of food poisoning. Donning Santa's garb (which is obviously much too big for you 'cos it covers you completely). you take to the skies in the Rudolph-mobile, hurling snowballs at all the naughty pixies, and basketballs, and trains, and other things that hurtle towards you.

You've got four lives, and there are three short stages to stagger through. The first is set over Lapland, the second over the Atlantic Ocean (where American dudes chuck radar beams at you), and the final one sees you delivering pressies to the kiddies.

Santa's Xmas Caper is too pathetic, dull, simple and twee to be of interest to anyone over the age of five. And far too difficult for anyone young enough to appreciate it. It might find its way into a few stockings (oo-er) because of its "Christmasness", but sadly it's one of the worst games ever to (dis)grace the computer store shelves.

Santa's Xmas Caper can be summed up in one word, and that word is "pathetic"