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It wasn't long ago that Virgin's Richard Branson undertook a Government crusade to clean up Britain's litter. A noble cause. So, I ask myself, how come he allows this piece of rubbish onto the streets?

This game, writes Paul, made me so angry. I found it crude, vile trash designed to cash in on Ade Edmondson's book of the same name. It's even worse than The Young Ones from Orpheus - and that's saying something. Come to think of it, that featured good old Ade as well. I wonder how he feels about putting his name to a couple of the worst games in existence?

Okay, I'm getting too angry. So let's go over to Lee for his views.

Hi, it's Lee here. Enough of the outbursts. This is what I think:

Have you ever fancied being a complete and utter illegitimate person? (I've been asked by Tim not to use that certain word very often.) Have you ever wanted to gatecrash a yuppie party, and throw up over someone? Well, I can't say that it has ever occurred to me, but apparently the gang at Virgin, and in particular, Ade, think you have, which is why they've released this game.

It's basically a cross between The Young Ones from Orpheus, and Spy Vs. Spy from Beyond. The overall object of the game is to be as vulgar and as nasty as possible, and light up the phrase "Complete Bastard" (Sorry, Tim, I didn't mean to use it!).

At the bottom of the screen are four meters. The Weee and Drunkometers speak for themselves, as does the Fart and the Smellometers, but these can be revealed by pressing the F key, and letting out a pretty whiffy poo!

At first, the game is quite difficult to get the hang of, due to the slightly strange screen layout that lets you view the same room from two different angles, hence the new display feature, "Bastavision".

As I've said, it's slightly confusing at first, but once you get used to it, it works exceptionally well.

Graphics, although monochromatic, are very detailed and fit well into the overall structure of the game.

I enjoyed it, and although it's fairly simple it's definitely one for your software wanted list.

Watch out! Paul's coming back to sum up.

Paul: I don't understand Lee liking this, but that's his decision. In my view, How To Be A Complete Bastard is crude, tasteless and, even worse, unfunny.