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Yet another cheapo offering from the people who seem to think they're offering a telephone service. Little do they know they've deposited their pride and joy in the hands of the lad whose telephone they cut off last week and have steadfastly refused to reconnect it until they get some money. Could this be the chance to get back in the good books and earn a few free calls to New York? After a quick glance I think not. Nobody could get away with saying good things about this.

I was a little suspicious when it took about thirty seconds to load and when the game got underway all my fears were confirmed. It's so simple and repetitive, it's almost laughable. It's called Gold Digger, and, as you would expect, it involves digging and gold. This, in effect, means guiding a speck around an orange screen looking for gold nuggets and keeping clear of different coloured specks that chase around after you. It couldn't be more monotonous. After the first screen is swept clear of nuggets, you move onto the next screen with, wonder of wonders, an extra speck to avoid and a few more nuggets to collect.

As the game goes on it gets as exciting as a day trip to Croydon. I got so worked up I nearly said 'Gosh!'. Out loud. Luckily I managed to contain myself.