Gerry The Germ (Firebird) Review | ZX Computing - Everygamegoing

ZX Computing

Gerry The Germ
By Firebird
Spectrum 48K

Published in ZX Computing #24

Gerry The Germ

This has to be one of the most infuriating games I've ever played. My initial reaction to the packaging was favourable, as the instructions come on a large glossy sheet in cartoon form, making a small poster.

It was only when I started to play the game that I discovered that the instructions, glossy though they may be, were no use whatsoever in letting me know what was going on.

What I could glean from them was that Gerry is a bit of a failure in the germ stakes, and his ambition is to prove himself as a virulent little microbe by causing some poor sod to have a coronary. This is done in stages as Gerry progresses from the lungs into different parts of the body, doing his germy business along the way.

Except for one problem - I couldn't work out just what it was Gerry was supposed to be doing. The first screen (the lungs) requires you to avoid while and red blood cells and to collect oxygen cylinders. Fair enough, but the blood cells stick so closely to the oxygen that only on one attempt did I even manage to collect a single cylinder. Failing to collect enough oxygen causes you to be dumped into the bladder, and this screen had me completely baffled.

Here, Gerry is in a little rowing boat in a lake with an island. There is also a dripping tap, a roll of loo paper, and a cock and bull (ha, ha) which fly/swim around trying to sink the boat. It took me well over an hour to work out how to complete this screen - not because it was a tough or challenging task, but because I just couldn't see the point of it all. If I hadn't had to stick with it in order to write this review I would have given up.

Once I worked out how to get through the bladder (if you know what I mean) it turned out that the solution was a repetitious task involving rowing the boat to and fro a lot. Then, when I got onto the next screen, it was back to square one on another screen that was just as irritating as the first two.