Twenty-one nil! Now that's what I call a good result; a score even Stefan Edberg would be proud of, if, of course, he didn't play tennis. And purely by coincidence, twenty-one nil is one of my best scores in Five-A-Side Footy. Not bad, eh?

To get back from all that self indulgent boasting and into the review. FASF (as I'll call it from now on), is the latest game-ette from the frantic fingers of Timothy Closs, author of those slices of software succulence, I Ball and I Ball II. It is a vertically scrolling, monochrome kick-around, viewed from above and packed with Closs' usual nifty graphics, blurpy tunes and, of course, speech - voices rasp out 'Goal Goooal' and 'Go For It' during both the title tune and the game.

All this would be hunky dory if it wasn't for the difficulty factor, or rather lack of one (to use an ancient reviewer's cliche). I'm sure you thought my phenomenal score was simply due to my natural talent and high games playing skill; but it isn't! No, in fact FASF is ludicrously easy. So easy that, after about three goes, you'll become completely bored with the game and may have to resort to Neighbours instead. You have been warned...