As crack mercenaries (that's crack: very good, not crack-cocaine), you have to battle the evil Dr. K... Stop! Why has this bloke decided to call himself Dr. K? He is, we assume, planning to take over the world. With a name like "Dr. K" everyone's going to realise he's trying to take over the world, since that's all that people called Dr. K ever do! In order to avert suspicion, so he can use public transport without being nicked by the secret service (for example), why doesn't he call himself something else/ Like Fred Jones or Bob Wiggins, for instance. Berk. Okay, carry on. You have some bombs to plant. There can be two of you or only one of you, but a two-player game is a lot more fun and you don't waste half the screen.
Right, that's the background nonsense over with. Now what about the game? Well, if you're an old fogey (like wot we are) you might remember the game Sabotage on the ZX81. This is a similar sort of idea. You get an overhead view of a complex and you have to rush around it, priming bombs by running over them. (Not the safest way to prime a bomb, if you ask us!)
Crack Down is actually quite good fun. The map at the top of the screen shows you where the bad guys are, but any notion of tactics takes a back seat to plain mindless blasting. With two players, it gets even more manic. The multi-load is a nightmare, but ignoring that, this game is most unbogus indeed.