It's the latest installment in the Twin Peaks of arcade beat-em-up series. Think up a plot for yourself (be sure to include all the following; a gang, some zombies, a girlfriend, a power-crazed tyrant, and something to do with pyramids). Here's what you have to do...
Kill the bad guys. There are six levels, the first, of which is set in New York. Once you've punched your way through that, some short Chinese wrinklie dude appears and mutters something about some stones. Ignore this. There is only one thing you need to know, and it is this.
Kill the bad guys. There are five stones hidden in different parts of the world (China, Japan, and three we haven't got to). These are supposedly 'rosetta stones'. There is only one rosetta stone. It was used by archaeologists to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics. Never mind. Just...
Kill the bad guys. At the start of each level is a shop. Leap in. You've got ten coins to spend, and can take your pick from a veritable Fine Fare of buyables. These include 'extra guys (man)', which are most worth having, 'energy' (not as good but not bad), weapons (power punch and sword are good, the Chinese nunchuckas are crap), tricks (you can do pirouettes - brill!), and exit (er, which is free). All of these help you to...
Kill the bad guys. A two-player game is a lot more fun, but there are of course the problems you normally associate with two player games, waiting for your 'mate' to wax his lot before you can move on, and the mad frenzy of Fire button-pressing on entering the shop (you have to share the ten coins!).
Kill the bad guys. The graphics are very nice. The Speccy-style scenery is livened up by the brightly-coloured geezers who patrol it. The sound is good. The moves, particularly the pirouette, are excellent, though it's anybody's guess how you do them.
Kill the bad guys. You'll finish this game. How long it'll take you defends on your beatie skills, your patience, your commitment, and how joystick-hardened you are.
Kill the bad guys. Beat-'em-ups are mindless, pointless, skill-less, joystick-destroying, brain-numbing, totally worthless, tripe. But if you like mindless, pointless, skill-less, joystick-destroying, brain-numbing, totally worthless, tripe, you'll find few better sheep's stomachs than this one. Well done, Storm.
At first sight, Double Dragon III looks a bit creaky and sluggish, but when you get into it it's really rather enjoyable. The graphics are nice, too.
Wax the Japs.
Pleasant to look at, though more colours would have been nice.
Sounds as exciting as a real life punch-up!
Grab Factor 81%
Beatie fans will get to grips with the action straight off.
Staying Power 81%
Six different sets of baddies will keep you glued.
We've seen it all before, but Double Dragon III is very professionally done.