Previous Next

We're not all daredevil types who leap into danger as soon as it rears its ugly head. Take us brave souls in the Zzap! office f'rinstance. At the first sign of trouble we duck behind the furniture and bleat "mummy, save us". Mark 'Chicken' Caswell was 'volunteered' for the mission at hand. He's as yellow as the rest of us, but too stupid to realise he could be killed...

It's the far future and the Galaxy has been at peace for centuries, thanks mainly to the policies of the Galactic Federation. But (cue 'not very surprised' expression) there is one band of warmongering aliens who don't want to play ball (miserable *@$!s). They come from a planet called Clio - do they conduct wobble tests with jellies, I wonder? - and their supreme leader. Demon, has said "peace off" to peace and begun laying waste to planets of the Galactic Federation.

So in true pacifist style, the Federation have sent their best pilot on a suicidal mission. And you don't win a cigar for guessing who the mug... er, heroic type is. It's so kind of you to 'volunteer'!

All you have to do is penetrate the outer defences of Clio (in a wheelbarrow) and enter the heart to end the game by killing Demon. Not an easy task, but you do get to pilot the brand new T2E Catalypse spaceship (makes you feel better already, doesn't it?).

There are five levels to the game. The first takes you to 'The Fourth Moon', an orbiting station that controls the planetary forcefield (sounds a bit like Return Of The Jedi to me). Before you can knock this out you have to face Demon's murderous minions. To begin with, your small ovoid blob (or hi-tech galactic war rocket, if you *really* want to use your imagination!) is armed only with a poxy laser cannon that barely manages to gather the enthusiasm to spit, let alone fire. Along the way though, amid whizzing bullets and rampaging hordes aplenty, there are handy weapons icons to collect.

There are nine power-ups on offer, including Megablast, Ziglasers, Catalytes and Retrolasers. To grab 'em just shoot-'em once and run over them; mega power is now yours to command (cue mad laughter). Once the obligatory fat-barst guardian has been eliminated, it's onto Level Two in 'The Forest'. The lives of billions of Federation citizens rely on your lightning reflexes and spawny luck - don't screw it up.

Catalypse is well named, 'coz you'll be in a state of catalepsy soon after the game loads. A cross between Armalyte and IO is how I'd describe this rubbish, though it's not half as good as either of 'em.

My main moan is the ferocity of the enemy craft. As soon as you appear on the screen you're attacked on all sides by the enemy hordes and reaching the end of even Level One is near impossible, and this leads to much frustration. Even if you do persevere long enough to dodge and blast your way through to Level Two there's nowt to really keep you playing. Catalypse is a predictable, below-average shoot-'em-up that shouldn't have been allowed to dribble from the programmer's brain. 32%

How Linel can justify Catalypse as a full-price release is beyond me. There's not enough here for a decent budget game!

The graphics are terrible, the 'artist' having used only one colour per sprite, and the game design's just cobblers - for example, the horizontal scrolling often forces you through very small openings, with a wave of baddies coming in the other direction. Nothing unusual here, but even at full power you can't dispose of them quickly enough to avoid a collision.

If that wasn't enough, the game suffers from a mind-numbingly inept multiload which has you reloading the first level every time you die, even if you don't get any further!

Catalypse looks and plays like it was written by one person working from his bedroom. As a professional, full-price release it's a washout - I've seen better PD games, and they're free! 28%

Presentation 30%
Bad title screen with garbled sampling and naff multiload.

Graphics 35%
The sprites are bland with samey backgrounds.

Sound 50%
Title tune and in-game ditty are okay, but nothing brill.

Hookability 30%
We had to be physically forced to play the game.

Lastability 28%
But we escape as soon as humanly possible.

Overall 30%