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Future Publishing
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Author: Mike Robins
Publisher: 2K Games
Machine: Xbox (EU Version)
Published in Official Xbox Magazine #53
Duller than playing snakes and ladders with a corpse
Zathura (2K Games)
Zathura makes no sense. The younger of the two boys you control in this drab puzzle adventure can kick and break wooden and metal crates. But he can't break cardboard boxes. The older boy can't kick at all. He has to find a spanner before he can smash the crates that block his path.
It's a prime example of the stupid logic in this game. And it only gets worse. You walk into a room where three turrets are firing lasers at you. You're told you can repel the lasers by hitting them with your spanner. What? Maybe this kid is Luke Skywalker in disguise. We wouldn't mind so much if it worked, but it's near impossible to hit back lasers without taking most of them in the face
This defective, totally useless play mechanic reflects the overall quality of Zathura: it's shoddy. There are lots of large, platform-filled rooms with pre-fixed camera angles so useless you'll struggle on the simplest of jumps. The totally rubbish gameplay doesn't help, with clumsy controls and really weak jumps. It's this sort of game that results in the death of innocent Xbox controllers. Luckily, when you die the game tends to respawn you at the entrance to the room in which you perished, so you don't have the added torture of playing through large sections of levels over again.
But you'll still get a feeling of déja-vu as you wander from one identicai looking room to the next. Unbelievably, the exact same room is used multiple times in a single level, with nothing but a few repositioned crates and a different enemy to distinguish one from the other. And there are no clever puzzles either - just kill a few enemies, press a switch and be on your way.
This lack of variety is slightly made up for by changing gameplay scenarios. As well as the two young boys, you also play as a robot that jumps higher and can fire lasers. A mix off different events means that one minute you'll be shooting down little flying saucers, the next plummeting down a deep chasm firing at rocks as you fall.
Unfortunately, every gameplay scenario handles about as well as a car with one wheel. When manning the gun turret, more UFOs charge at you than you can possibly shoot. The bit where you fall down the chasm is pointless - hitting the rocks is easy and even if you miss they don't kill you. But the worst bit is when you have to run away from a wall of fire, avoiding explosive barrels that are hurled your way (as stolen from 1983's Donkey Kong) - although it's impossible to tell where they're going to land. After dying a lot, we discovered the secret was not to dodge at all, but to just run in a straight line so the barrels would miss. Playing Zathura is like being force-fed Saddam Hussein's skidmarked underpants.
And we find that kind of thing really upsetting.
Good Points
- Does its best to mix up the action a little, with varied gameplay styles and scenarios featuring in each level.
Bad Points
- Edgy movement, weak jumps and a rubbish camera make platform sections harder than doing a handstand while drunk.
- Rubbish and inconsistent logic, like being able to break a metal crate but not a cardboard box (!), and battling lasers with a spanner.
- Identical rooms are repeated ad infinitum, which is a complete farce. Copy and paste should be banned in development.
- You would think such a basic-looking game would run as smooth as silk on your Xbox. In this case, you'd be so awfully wrong.
Verdict
Uninspired, dull and repetitive. This should never have made it past the testing stages.
Scores
Xbox VersionOverall | 32% |