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I hate games like this. It's not just that they're so simple and repetitive that you can actually feel your brain suffocating, but, worse than that, they're cute.

You can tell right away Velocipede II is going to be cute because the cover depicts a fat man on a unicycle being molested by a football. If that doesn't have you in stitches right there in front of the cashier then just flip the package over and take a gander at the same description: "Guide Mr. Megafat home on his new unicycle - but watch out, the road is long and dangerous and full of meanies with nasty big pointy teeth..." Exactly. If you still buy this then you've only got yourself to blame.

Supposing you do, then this is what you're in for once you have wobbled across the prelude screens. The instructions won't hold you up for too long - "Jump over the water and look out for nasty creatures." - and you're into the first lap of Mr. Megafat's homeward journey. The screen scrolls from right to left, you've got your finger glued to the fire button, and Old Fatty bounces over pools and streams blasting indiscriminately at nasty chickens and footballs.

Then you're into lap two and Megafat's off again, wiping out nasty bats, nasty pumpkins and nasty bubbles. The third lap is much the same, and before you know it lap four's finished, you've scored 14000 and some, and it's back to the beginning to notch up an even higher score.

But now your kid sister has popped her head round the bedroom door to see what all the laughter's about, and she takes one look at the jollities on screen and, well, she wants to join in. And why not, it's easy enough - a gerbil could get the hang of it in seconds - and before you can say Velocipede II you're both neck and neck in the high score table, and splitting your sides as you steer that crazy bike over the nasty frogs and dogs.

Sooner or later the entire family knuckles down to it, granny too, and you're all cheering as you shoot up those nasty hamburgers and groaning as you fall - splat! - into the water, and you haven't had so much fun since you played Consequences at brother Jack's 21st.