Picture the scene. A group of suits having a brainstorming session at a developer’s studio. "Kids love football, right? So why don't we make a football game cool, like adding some hip kids spouting street speak, give them a bit of attitude, and garnish it with popular music. It'll make a great game, won't it?"

That's where all hope for this title ends. Teams of four woefully misguided, stereotypical urban youths (including Skater Boys, Hardcore Honeys and the Taggin' Crew) apparently 'battle’ things out in ghetto-style five-a-side courts, complete with those mythical cheering crowds that stand in for pikey kids nicking your kit bag. The ball control, for one thing, is atrocious. We know this isn't the most accurate footy sim out there, but severe gluefoot makes dribbling ridiculously easy. Your team-mates' AI is just as bad; when you pick up the ball, they'll run everywhere apart from towards the opponent's goal. Apparently street soccer is all about showing off, and the more passes and skill moves are put together, the more your power meter fills up. Once full, you can unleash the 'virtually unstoppable' Netbuster shot, but restrictive gameplay severely hinders this.

Pass to an AI team-mate, and by the time they've finished flicking the ball (instead of passing back to you), they've been tackled and the opposition have scored. Scored, because shooting is ridiculously easy. There's no skill required, just holding shoot from pretty much anywhere will result in a goal, thus negating the entire Netbusting idea. This is compounded by the ineptitude of goalkeepers, as you have no direct control over them until the ball is in their hands. This is an even rarer occurrence though, as while they'll parry nearly every shot into the oncoming path of the opposition’s striker, this is punctuated by the occasional save-then-dribble-into-your-own-net lark. Very, very frustrating.

If you can stomach all of the above, there are several modes available, like Turf Wars, Street Challenge, Freestyle and Home Turf. Movies can be unlocked too, and are worth watching for the pure comedy factor of kids trying to act all hard while looking like plonkers.

At the final whistle, UFS started as an alternative take on a football game, but through dire execution and truly laughable presentation, it ends up missing the mark wider than a Gareth Southgate penalty.

1. Average soundtrack
2. Erm...

1. Terrible gameplay
2. Awful dialogue
3. Shooting too easy
4. Passing too laboured

Power
Pretty uninspiring visuals and relatively bland environments. Cutscenes are rough and ready.

Style
Appalling characters and risible dialogue. Not a bad soundtrack though, from credible bands.

Immersion
You'll be scoring goals galore within minutes of picking this up. Which is not a good thing.

Lifespan
The several game modes are very similar, but multiplayer is fun for about fifteen minutes.

Summary
This is an awful attempt at being down wid da kids. At least UFS calls itself soccer and not football.