Guest reviewer - Bill Armchair Sports-Critic of 89 Plumberry Crescent, Milton Keynes: Right, let's get one thing straight. I know what I like and I like what I know, and when it coes to sport, I like to think I know quite a bit, if you know what I mean. I coulda played for City, y'know, if I hadn't got drunk the night before the trials.

So don't talk to me about criticising what I don't have the guts to do meself.

Anyway, this ice hockey lark - never been much into it meself. Footy, that's my game. And real footy, not this poncey American stuff with padded shoulders like some bird outa Dallas. But ice hockey? Well, that looks like a real man's game. Looks like they really need that padding. Especially during the rucks.

This computer game thing ain't too bad, either. The graphics are a bit crap - I coulda done better meself. But the game? S'okay. It's a two-player-type thing with only two players plus two goalies on the screen. No chance of a big ruck then. The playing area's just a single screen large, and the players hack around the rink trying to ram the puck in the goal and their sticks up the other's where-the-sun-don't-shine... er-huh, er-huh. Sorry, just a little crude humour there. Wife loves it when I talk like that...

It's fast and the controls are suitably slippery. In fact, most of the skill comes from masterin' the joystick, 'cos tackling is more down to chance. It's just a case of grabbing the puck, running around the screen with it and firing it at the goal when you get the chance, and if the other player saves it, he runs around the screen until he gets a chance at goal. Good as far as it goes, but it only goes as far as my Ford Cortina. To the pub next door and back. Er-huh, er-huh...

Roughly translated, okayish two-player, head-to-head ice hockey sim (sim used in the loosest possible sense) but it could do with a few more options and variety.