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From the inaugural moment I sceptically plucked the perplexity orange disk from the arbitrary polystyreme packaging to be found strategically shoved within this inexplicably shiny and suggestively foreign double-cassette sized box [Guess who got a new Thesaurus for Christmas - Ed], I knew I was in for a weird time with this one.

Game play 'befalls thus'. You primarily take control of a robot, hurtling constantly into the screen, which can be transformed "Transformer-style" into a far less clumsy aeroplane once half speed is reached. So what we have here is a sort of Space Harrier clone if you'd allow Mr Imagination a seat for a while, although one difference is that your sprite remains central whilst everything else changes position accordingly - there's a special word for this, but I can't remember it, and it isn't in my new Thesaurus either. Tacky thing.

Anyway, here's where the relays come in; small spheres carefully dotted throughout the play area depicting the required route, necessitating collection. Miss two or three in plane or robot mode respectively, and you will automatically turn into the robot and slow to half your original speed.

Not too weird so far, eh? There is, however, a big however. At any time F10 calls up VCR mode - a neat little twist which allows the game to be 'rewound' to a chosen point and restarted. So every time you crash into a pillar, are shot down by a baddy, or lose speed in the plane and crash to the ground you can rewind a bit then simply avoid the same mistake. And here comes that however. However. Nope, not big enough. However (that's more like it), provided you don't take too long about it, you can rewind before the life counter has decreased - hence effectively playing with infinite lives. A bug or a carefully thought-out French revelation? Well, who cares as it completely ruins the game - which was totally boring, crap-graphiced, not enough baddied and pointless easy anyway. I'm afraid no amount of money, sex, drugs or purple Quality Street can persuade me to recommend a game where the only challenge is whether you can beat the end of level baddy or not (as you can't rewind on this bit). Oh no.

Completely, absolutely, entirely, thoroughly, totally, utterly, wholly disappointingly rubbish Space Harrier clone with no challenge whatsoever.