Is nothing sacred? The British institution that is The Italian Job gets an American reworking, with the streets of Rome transformed into the urban sprawl of LA. and the enigmatic Michael Caine substituted for Mark Wahlberg - most famous for having a long schlong in Boogie Nights. We'll have to reserve judgement and climb down from our cinematic soapbox because we haven't seen the film, but if the movie mirrors the quality of this game then we won't be booking front row seats any time soon.

Any notion of playing a suspense-laden heist-inspired driving caper needs to filed away until the likes of Driver appears next year. What you get here is an identikit arcade racer that leans more towards Midtown Madness 3 than any crime-ridden spree. But while Midtown succeeds through imaginative maps, humorous characters and the excellent Xbox Live functionality, The Italian Job just doesn't deliver. Story mode involves numerous missions that replicate the movie narrative - in so much as you get treated to a budget cutscene prior to engaging in the very typical racing objectives. The action is pretty much all against the clock, getting from A to B before the time runs out while trying to work out where the hell you need to go on a very basic radar that promotes trial and error rather than any confident navigational skills.

It's a shame that GPS doesn't come as standard. The bland racing action could be forgiven if the game didn't look so bloody basic. There's no atmosphere to the environment. It doesn't feel like Los Angeles - it feels like Milton Keynes with palm trees and, fair enough, we know that nobody walks anywhere in the City of Angels, but we could at least see a few pedestrians to make it feel like it's a populated city. The traffic is just as bad, with little vehicle variation and collisions that (a) produce no noticeable car damage and (b) always generate the same type of generic rubble on impact. No windscreens smashing, no bumpers hanging precariously from the car, no dents in the bodywork. Just a puff of smoke occasionally emitting from the engine. Big deal.

Story mode is supported by a circuit race that can cater for two players and a mildly diverting stunt section that's reminiscent of the tower challenges in ATV Quad Power Racing 2 but overall, this is another example of a film licence that's got great potential yet fails to really deliver. An Italian Job that isn't particularly worth applying for.

1. It's easy to pick up and play...

1. ...but the story is pretty dull...
2. ...and the maps are boring, so...
3. ...there's no reason to keep playing!

Power
It nips along at an acceptable pace but the graphics just don't offer enough detail.

Style
We've seen more style down the local charity shop. No real character or flair.

Immersion
The missions are too short and largely based on trial and error navigation.

Lifespan
A weekend at best - both Midtown Madness 3 and Midnight Club II offer much more.

Summary
A missed opportunity to deliver a decent heist game. Stalls from the start and never really gets any better.