The One
1st March 1995
Author: Andy Nuttall
Publisher: Flair
Machine: Amiga 500/600
Published in The One #78
Recently Flair leaped back into the Amiga industry with a bang and a whizz; but anybody hoping that the positive trend would continue will be disappointed, as Andy Nuttall discovers.
Soccer Super Stars (Flair)
There's nothing more disappointing in the games industry than a publisher which begins a run of good games, only to release a stinker to stem its budding reputation in, er, early bloom. Flair's latest games include 7869, Whale's Voyage and the recent Whizz, and after many early efforts which received unanimous panning by the magazine reviewers it seemed to be moving onwards and upwards towards great game-dom.
However, the sad fact is that its latest release, Soccer Super Stars, is the worst football game I've ever played. Sad, hunched players slouch around the pitch, totally apathetic to your joystick wrenching; uninterested supporters gently crackle in the background... I just can't tell you how poor this is. The PC/Amiga manual makes incorrect references to the Amiga game, so when you try to apply some of the team-creating tactics only to discover they're PC-only it's damned frustrating. Even something as simple as colour-coded players, which would show what position they play, isn't there in the Amiga game. Each player's name is written in gold, so there's no immediate way of telling which player is the goalie, which is the defender etc.
If we were to really dredge the bottom of Soccer Super Stars' revolting canal, though, we would come up with at least something positive in the scoop-thingy. It has a system of bars which display the stamina, speed, shooting and tackling ability of the selected player. So the way, say, to check if a player's a goalie is to look which one has no tackling or shooting capability. Immediate? No, but it is a facility which Sensible World Of Soccer, for instance, is fair crying out for.
Sadly, in every other way, Soccer Super Stars is one piece short of a pie. The lack of options, and the entirely unsuitable title music - seemingly borrowed from early Martin 'Comic Bakery' Galway soundtracks - compound the misery I feel having reviewed it, and the utter shame and despondency which will be yours if you actually part with hard-earned cash for this piece of rotting orange-peel. And now, the Verdict. Erm...
The Verdict
The last thing I want to do is to give the Flair people a kick in the teeth just as they looked to be extending their run of good form, but Soccer Super Stars does absolutely nothing for either the Amiga or the punters who buy it. The talent, nay, flair which Flair apparently holds at its disposal must have been off sick when this crap was made, because everything about it is not so much sub-standard as downright offensive. The players look even more slovenly and unathletic than Chris Waddle; the effects do sound like a crowd, but a crowd of mutes shaking large tins of dried peas while simultaneously hawking onto the terraces; and the game, well, to compare it to Sunday-league football would be an insult to Sunday-leaguers.
Spare players, hanging around the 90 percent of the pitch which doesn't contain the ball, don't move; applying the rule of staying in position a little too literally by appearing rooted to the spot until the ball approaches.
To recap, then, Soccer Super Stars is a game which has poor graphics, poor sound, and poor gameplay. It does, however, have rather nice box artwork, sporting a number of excellent players (Jurgen Klinsmann, Carlos Valderrama, Dennis Bergkamp and Roberto Baggio, amongst others) surrounding a Mitre football. This implies a game so excellent the sponsors are queueing to throw money at Flair - until, however, you read the small print which says 'The game is not endorsed by any individual or entity...'. It seems the big boys are keeping well clear. I suggest you do likewise.