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"Come an' have a go if you think you're hard enough!" That's the general feeling you get when you flick through the instruction booklet for Skeleton Krew. With character names like Spine, Joint and Rib, you could be forgiven for thinking that the heroic trio in this game are in fact the new Flavour of the Month deals down at KFC (although you would, of course, be wrong - and chances are that these three scallywags would taste a lot bloody nicer anyroad. Up.)

No, the Krew are in fact mercenaries sent by MAD (Military Ascertainment Department) to go and clean up Monstro City, an area overrun with all kinds of mutated nasty fellas. These vile monsters are the creations of insane scientist (and parttime dinner lady) Moribund Kadaver, who, in a true 'erazy type bloke' way, wants to rule the world. Bonkers, eh?

The game itself is a straightforward shoot-'em-up, with you taking the helm as one of the aforementioned laddies in a quest to cleanse the city of the horrid mutations, in an isometric-view-o-vision kind of way of course.

The plain fact of the matter is that it's boring. It never really gets going, none of the monsters look remotely scary, and the levels don't have any variety. To inject a bit of sunshine, the programmers added a rather funky sound track which will have those feet a-tapping, while the control method, though confusing at first, becomes very instinctive after a short time.

Skeleton Crew CD could easily have (and should have) been a lot better, but as it is, is just another flower whose petals are brown and flimsy, and whose stalk is starting to wane, and the pollen which was once sweet, is just... [Oh, shut up! - Everyone] Oh. I see.