Noel, Myleene, Kym and the blonde one may have all disappeared back into oblivion or up the bum of some revolting budget musical, but Danny has made a name for himself. Having starred in the cult hit Shrek, the bulbous-headed ogre of Hear'Say, has pulled off a coup. He's married Cameron Diaz, he's mates with Eddie Murphy, and now, on the eve of his second feature, a game of the same name comes along. Ladies and gentleogres, please be upstanding for Shrek 2.

For all intents and purposes, Shrek 2 is a kiddies' jaunt through the various locations of Far Far Away Land, a slow-moving monster-bashing meanderer of a game. It's top-down (don't be fooled by the screenshots, they're just there to make it look pretty), it runs on tracks like nobody's business (oh boy, does it run on tracks), and it's as easy as insulting a member of a reality TV pop band. But, unlike the films laced with their double entendres and knowing winks, this game is squarely aimed at tots.

Shrek bashes, Fiona twirls, Donkey kicks, and depending on which of the other playable characters join you at any time, you'll have an apple-thrower, a swash-buckler, a huff-puff-and-blow-your-house-downer, or other gifted companion in your team. You control each of the characters singularly, selecting which one you feel suitable for a task by clicking the triggers, then allow the AI to control the remaining three. Or, in multiplayer, four gamers can control a figure each. With a combination of teamwork and a hefty dose of thumping the flora and fauna, you work your way from one checkpoint to the next, all the while wondering what crate it is you need to smash to extract some of that infamous Shrek wit.

Sure, it looks pretty enough, but this is your standard film tie-in of a game. The voice acting is iffy but passabe, and there are the prerequisite cutscenes to give a taster of what to expect in the movie. The gameplay never really extends past requiring you to punch things, or getting two characters to use a see-saw to reach high places, and it all comes across as a bit vanilla. There are brief moments known as Hero Time for each character that help lift Shrek 2, such as a Crash Bandicoot-inspired dragon ride, or trying to get Shrek to clear out a pub full of drunken yobs, but there are too few, and too short.

Each character also has a special move, such as the Gingerbread Man's ability to lure enemies into traps with cookies, or Fiona's handy ability to freeze time, but they never really add anything to the experience and you can accomplish just about everything without once resorting to using them. So, it's back to the walloping of fluffy animals and the collecting of shiny penny pieces, while the game just seems to drift in front of your eyes, never once making a lasting impression. Go see the film instead.

1. A great variety of characters
2. Very colourful
3. Easy to play

1. Lacks Shreak double-entendre humour
2. Dull gameplay
3. Too repetitive

Power
Eh? What? It's a cross-platform kiddies' game - hardly a processor-sucking masterpiece.

Style
Well, it's sweet and looks a little like Shrek, but that's it. There's hardly any fairytale magic here.

Immersion
Even with four players this won't keep you hooked for long because everything is so repetitive.

Lifespan
A day and you'll be done. Then you can get back to other games without talking donkeys in them.

Summary
A bit cheesy, a bit dull and not really worth bothering with. If you're a total Shrek nut, it might be worth a five-minute bash.