The moment Clarence Boddicker put the final bullet through Officer Murphy's noggin he created a monster and Robocop was born. Then almost as soon as the baby food-guzzling titanium Frankenstein got his revenge and rediscovered his humanity, he died again. Okay, he fought a robot called Cain in the sequel, but by the third film he was befriending orphans. Robo was rusty. It was time for him to be recycled into licence plates and to leave us alone with our memories. But no. The TV series comes along and insults us, then we get this, a first-person shooter so lacking you'd be hard pushed to "buy that for a dollar", let alone the full asking price.
Robocop is back on the beat shooting people, upholding the law, shooting people, serving the public trust, shooting people, protecting the innocent, then shooting the innocent. Yet, despite the constant spray of ammo that leaves your gun, when held up against almost every other FPS on the Xbox, Robocop is an exercise in repetition and frustration. There are no save points during play, even when you reach certain checkpoints. If you play an entire level only to get killed right at the end, you go straight back to the beginning, bypassing the checkpoints, and are forced to play the whole thing again. It's extremely infuriating. Thankfully the enemy animation is on a loop which, weirdly, is something of a blessing. It means you can second guess where everyone is, 5o you simply learn where the bad guys will be, and at what time, allowing you to claw through a level. These are hardly the hallmarks of a classic game.
Weapons are limited, with only half a dozen attachments for your arm, and your most powerful weapon, the grenade launcher, is about as effective as throwing pebbles at a rhino. You will die frequently, and easily, something a titanium-covered superhero shouldn't really grow accustomed to. Some nice touches have been added, such as your vision fuzzing with static when you are close to copping it, but these are aesthetics alone, and don't improve the gameplay.
Old Robocop enemies have also been thrown in for effect, with ED209 back for a pummelling, but the inclusion of weird Metropolis-inspired Maria robots and laser guns feels out of place, as does an incessant hydraulic hiss that follows you everywhere. Sure, you're a robot, but having a buzzing in your ear with the slightest of actions quickly gets grating. In fact, the whole game quickly becomes grating and you end up wondering just how Robocop was ever commissioned by OCP in the first place. It makes you wish ED209 hadn't gone berserk - we might be enjoying a far more interesting franchise by now.