Previous Next

Are you...?

A. 30 plus, sport a few errant grey hairs, remember when one penny chews actually were 1p and genuinely believe that The Lord Of The Rings owe a great debt to Hawk The Slayer?
B. 20ish, sport an inappropriate amount of gaudy sportswear and think that using phrases such as 'full fat Coke', 'like, totally' and numerous entries from Viz's Profanisaurus in day-to-day language makes you a post-modern wit?
C. Below 15, sport a gob full of chewy, a bottle of Reef in your duffel coat pocket, wiry red hairs sprouting amongst the angry pimples on your lips, while your slacks gently pole as Sasha from your Biology class bends to adjust the tongues of her new Reebok Classics?

Japan means to you...

A. A business-centric civilisation savagely bound by arcane codes of honour that has birthed a brutal military history, deviant animated porn, shouty samurai films and the videogames industry?
B. They all sleep in pods in train stations, eat poisonous puffer fish like on The Simpsons, and buy schoolgirl pants to smell and possibly lick?
C. All my Yu-Gi-Oh cards come from there and they're all got big swords that I could use to kill Jes Harris from 3D with 'cos he called me a bummer?

Your earliest videogaming memory is...?

A. Space War on the PDP-1, honest.
B. Sonic And Knuckles on my best mate's Mega Drive.
C. Tomb Raider: The Angel Of Darkness. 8/10? Yeah, right...

How strongly do you agree with the following statement? R-Type Final is a hybrid of old-skool dexterity centric shooter, with a graphical nod to Zone Of The Enders and a philosophical detour via Battle Of The Planets.

A. Obviously?
B. Battle Of The What?
C. Meh.

What's your stance on pseudo 3D blasting games with 16-year-old legacies, 99 different ships to fly, new underwater levels, customisable ships, five skill levels, heaps of flashy weapons and some of the most glorious retro-nodding graphics on PS2 (that sadly slow down a bit when there's loads going on on screen)?

A. Gaming in its purest sense?
B. I'd have a go for old time's sake, but I can't see me on it much over an hour.
C. So, it's just shooting and that's it?

Mostly A: Your fogeyish stance and gaming history makes you ideally placed to appreciate this yester-nudging fancy. With only seven levels, you'd think it'd be easily finished, but even on Baby setting it is one of the harder games we've played for some months. Beautiful, classic - if you're got an eye for such pyrotechnic dazzlement - and tough. Party like it's 1979.

Mostly B: Your youthful cynicism mawy dismiss this out of hand, perhaps correctly. Although, if you take an open-minded approach it might be more entertaining than you'd think to experience a slice of simplistic gaming history.

Mostly C: You probably don't care or want to care about R-Type Final. The irony being that your embryonic reflexes are by far best positioned to take this demonically tough shooter down. Shame.

Graphics 70%
Old, but in lovely shape.

Sound 30%
Miserable groaning score plus blips.

Gameplay 70%
Utterly rock shooting 'n dodging.

Lifespan 80%
An age to unlock the lot.

Overall 70%
Do the quiz? This game is a difficult one to score. We love it, but then we're mostly "a". It's so beautiful, it makes us cry.