Football purists will undoubtedly laugh into their supporters' scarves at the prospect of a beach soccer game. But those that can cast their minds back to the Nike ad that showed Becks, Ronaldo and co doing their stuff on the beaches of Rio can understand how it could perhaps make a viable game.

The opportunity to mess with the ball physics (you're playing on sand) and take the beautiful game out of its traditional surroundings and frame it in a more scenic environment could prove quite a draw. Well in theory that works - but sadly Pro Beach Soccer is a game that should have stayed on the subs bench.

For a start, it hardly plays like football. A match is split into three periods of twelve minutes, there are only five players per side, the pitch is smaller than Max's back garden, there are three types of card you can be shown (one puts you in the sin bin for a set time limit), an average game will see more than ten goals and you get unlimited substitutions. This isn't a criticism in itself (it's beach soccer after all) but even when you discount the change in rules you're still left with a game involving goals, ten pairs of feet and a ball. And that's where Pro Beach Soccer falls apart quicker than a Tottenham title bid.

It's not just that it looks poor - the half-time bikini-clad girls are the DOAX babes' ugly sisters. And its not just that it handles badly - the player response is sluggish and if you get hassled off the ball your character will just stand there wondering what happened. It's just so incredibly monotonous because you can shoot from anywhere, making the game more end-to-end than a table-tennis grudge match on fast-forward.

When Pro Beach Soccer is at its best you can occasionally string several volleys together, but the AI hinders your progress because it doesn't often recognise who you want to pass the ball to. There is a more advanced basketball-style passing system in place (where you hold one button to open the mode and then press whatever face button corresponds with your player to pass it). But using the method continually compromises any feeling of fluid play that the game can muster and in any sports game you want to feel like you're in control.

Power
Multiplayer is plagued by slowdown and single-player hardly shines.

Style
The crowd is having a spasm and the dancing girls and make it cheesier than a ripe slce of Brie.

Immersion
Different modes include PBS Tour (tournament) and Training but it won't make you play for long.

Lifespan
It's just not good enough to play for any long period - and that includes multiplayer.

Summary
Beach football is quite a good idea, but it needs to be a lot better than this to get us hot under the collar.

1. Fresh idea, but...

1. ...it looks poor.
2. Cheesy style - the passing system is flawed
3. It's monotonous
4. The slow-mo shots are unnecessary