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As everyone knows, outer space is a place where very nasty things can happen. For instance, if you were to go for a wander outside a spaceship (without a suit) your eyeballs would blow up and fly out of their sockets, and then your head would explode in a multicoloured splash of goo. It might make for great entertainment, but healthy living it ain't.

And that's not all. Another law of space is that if you go explore a space station from which there's been no correspondence lately, it will, and I mean definitely will, be crawling with aliens. Sigourney Weaver tried it, and ended up mixing it with a bunch of human-munching giant bugs (none of which had the slightest idea about table manners). And so it is with Ocean's Space Gun.

Our hero has been dim enough to jump onto a distressed space ship and, of course, there are bugs, pods and all sorts of scaly gits crawling around. And these aliens don't just turn their faces inside out to devour people, they're also kitted out with automatic laser guns and other implausible trinkets.

The year is 2039 (always a favourite for intergalactic adventure that one), and you're the idiot standing on this space ship. But it's not all being played for laughs. There's a whole load of scientific boffin people who are being held hostage by the bugs (presumably, the bugs' master-plan is to lure the main course on-board in time for tea).

Travel through the corridors and rooms, and blow the hell out of everything that looks (a) like it's doing an impression of Slimer or (b) like it's auditioning for Predator II. Try not to kill the humans but - hey - they won't complain if you do!

If you've played the coin-op of this splendid galactic death-fest then you'll know what it's all about. And it's not about very much. This is shoot-'em-up at its most basic (and most fun). Imagine taking Operation Wolf, and mixing it with Aliens the movie, and you've pretty much got the recipe dished up here.

Shall we treat ourselves to a quick guide to bug-busting weapons? I think we should. Basic firepower is of the bog-standard laser pump action variety which fires lemon-shaped death charges. But you can also pick up special weapons: there's a flame-thrower (my fave), a freeze-gun (a crap thing that stuns aliens) and a number of bombs that blow away aliens quickly and without mess.

As you make your way forwards, you come across flashing cartridges every so often. Shoot these and special weapons appear, in addition to extra armour, more energy or more ammo.

And of course, at the end of each level our old chum the end-of-level guardian makes an appearance. He's not all that difficult to dispose of, just so long as you have enough energy to take a few hits.

Now, I know for a fact that some people are going to hate this game. Let's be honest here, you don't have to have a degree in Humanities to get your head round the concept of blowing seven shades of slime out of space nasties. It's essentially point, click and kill all the way through. A fantasy of violence lacking in any sophistication whatsoever.

But I loved every single gory minute of it. There's nowt wrong with simplicity, just so long as it's fun. And when you get a look at some of these aliens, you'll be hooked. Don't stop until you've destroyed every last one of 'em.

1. Very basic gameplay.
2. Intellectually vacant in every way.
3. A lot like Operation Wolf and its clones.

1. Lots of hilariously ugly aliens to destroy.
2. Classic Aliens-like plot.
3. Bugs galore.
4. Plenty of dark, spooky places to explore.
5. An impressive conversion from the coin-op.
6. Loud and imposing music and sound effects.
7. You're allowed to kill the pathetic humans, and it won't end your game.
8. Plenty of bonuses make for nice long games.
9. A good selection of stupidly violent weapons.