Previous Next

Turn on, tune in and drop dead. That's the message Ocean are sending out on the airwaves as they release Probe's conversion of the Williams coin-op game. Our reviewer stepped on down and took a shot at the TV game show that kills its contestants

There's something about a good Williams coin-op that can turn normal human beings into slot-machine junkies. These games are usually fast, always loud and, chances are, they'll involve killing lots of things at supersonic rate. The result is long hours in arcades and empty pockets.

Smash TV is definitely no exception. As a coin-op it was an even bigger hit than those now revered Williams coin-ops Defender, Robotron and Narc. The C64 version looks destined to repeat that phenomenal success.

Here's the plot. It's our old chum the dark and depressing future in which television has finally taken over, and consumerism is not so much a way of life, as a reason for living. Not surprisingly, everybody's fave TV event is the game show. In the future, game show contestants can get killed in the pursuit of fame and box-fulls of goodies. (Let's hope Blockbusters is still around in fifty years, eh?)

In Smash TV, the most ludicrously violent gameshow of them all, contestants run around, kill everything the TV company throws at them and pick up prizes on the way. That, as they often say, is entertainment.

You guide the contestant through a grid of game rooms, all of which are populated by killer droid types, automatic tanks, and mobile shrapnel bombs. There are even minefields to negotiate. What makes this completely insane, as opposed to marginally crazy, is that once you enter a room, there's no way out until you've finished off everything that moves.

While you're frantically avoiding bombs, bullets, shrapnel and mines, you can pick up prizes (quaintly gift-wrapped) as well as cash, sliver and gold. There's also a comprehensive selection of bonuses such as bigger weapons, extra lives, speed tablets, smart bombs and shields that grant temporary indestructibility.

Weapons include short range bombs, long range missiles, three-way spray guns and an exceptionally nifty little number which surrounds you in deadly electronic shuriken. These are especially useful when dealing with heavily armoured enemies.

Most of the bog-standard enemies look like motorised ninja, and they're just as nasty. It's like having a never-ending supply of Terminators on your case. You'll have guessed by now that it's important in this game to keep moving at all times. The baddies home in on you and they absolutely will not stop until you've been killed. Incidentally, this sets off a splendidly depressing death scene in which the hero spins round a few times before thumping to the floor.

On screen, there's a special window that lets you know what prizes you're picking up (cars, video recorders, tellies, holidays, that kind of thing) and how many lives you have left. Even a good player won't go long without losing a life so it's a good job that (a) you've got nine lives plus three from the continue game and (b) there are quite a few extra life bonuses to be picked up.

You have to move fast though, because bonuses and prizes are only on screen for a few seconds before disappearing. These prizes can tempt the greedy to their doom. They are often positioned tantalisingly close to you but also hideously close to enemies or mines.

Easily the most impressive aspect of Probe's conversion is the stupendous speed of the game. I don't think we've ever seen a game on the C64 that moves so quickly and so smoothly. We're talking dozens of sprites on screen at the same time, all milling around busily and purposefully. It's only rarely, when the screen is packed with characters, bullets and bonuses, that the game-speed slows down, and only then slightly and briefly.

Each room has a different theme, so some are packed with exploding shrapnel machines, others with tanks, and some with prizes or other bonuses. It's up to you to explore and find the best route.

The end-of-level guardians are huge, ugly and not at all easy to kill, but as is usually the case with such monsters, there's a proper way of disposing with these guys. When the level is complete, you're rewarded with points based on how many goodies you've picked up along the way and how much cash and gold you've accumulated. There are only three levels and, to be honest, the first two aren't all that difficult. But the third is absolutely huge, and it'll have you playing for hours on end.

In fact, if you like your action thick and fast, you can't go wrong with this game, it's simply one of the most frenetic titles ever. The bottom line is this. Buy Smash TV.

1. No two-player option.

1. Non-stop action for three brutal levels.
2. Terrific speed as a multitude of sprites sprint from one side of the screen to the other - amazing!
3. Great sound effects - those are the noises killing machines make.
4. Lots to explore - level three is enormous.
5. Lots of baddies to kill.
6. An abundance of weapons and bonuses (but beware of the mines)
7. Appealing plot.
8. Impressively similar to the original in many respects.
9. Just fab in every way.