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In some corners of the C64 programming community, there seems to be a general bad feeling towards the Apex game Mayhem in Monsterland, probably the biggest game on the C64. Many people claim it was overhyped, the graphics routines were used in demos years ago, and the only reason for its success was the lack of any decent platform games on the C64. Which, I suppose, is true enough.

However, if there's one thing which Mayhem hasn't managed to attract, it would be a game of equal standards, Take Saliva Kid, for example. From the instant the title screen appears, you know you're in for a real treat (read the words 'a real treat' with as much sarcasm as you can muster). The main sprite, probably known as Gob to his friends, bears a more-than-striking resemblance to a certain spiky blue hedgehog who's rather fast on his feet. This little chap makes his way through various levels, dodging flying fish, birds and falling coconuts all the while collecting diamonds. Deja-vu or just plain plagiarism? Saliva Kid features a hi-res overlay character and a full colour scroller, just like Mayhem. But that's where the similarity ends.

Saliva Kid is hideously and frustratingly unplayable, almost to the point of exhaustion. The main sprite feebly skates along the badly-designed levels, which contain all manner of familiar booby traps. Even though Saliva (and what a stupid name that is) can fire bullets, the delay between shots renders this feature virtually useless, There are no restart points (you're sent right back to the start of each level!), the obstacles are unfair, and the incentive to play for more than five minutes is small.

Take a game like Mayhem, remove the programming talent, strip off the beautiful graphics and funky music, then fiercely burn the addictive playability, and you'll end up with Saliva Kid. If you're after Sonic on the C64, this is the closest you'd ever get. If you're after a playable platform game for the C64, this is the furthest you'd ever get.