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Look, I did try to like it. Honest. But I never could work out what it was that millions of people find so fascinating about sitting next to a putrid canal with a long stick waiting for some extremely stupid, slimy creatures to fall for the old maggot-on-a-hook trick. Let's face it, fish are soooo dull - all they do is swim and eat, and swim and eat and I can't see how you can derive any pleasure from outwitting a creature that's got a seven-second memory span.

But there is one fish that stands out from the others: his name is Pond, James Pond. And a finer fish you have never met. He's redder than a very red goldfish [What do you do to gold fish? Cook 'em? - Ed], harder than a cast iron pan and stretchier than Dhalsim's arms.

James is an employee of F.I.S.H., the special counter-espionage department of the Secret Ever-So-Special Service. His latest assignment is to stop the evil Doctor Maybe from destroying Christmas as we know it. The diabolical doctor and his cronies, y'see, have taken control of Santa's toy factory in the frozen north. The only way to save Christmas is to rescue all Santa's little helpers from the dastardly doctor.

Ultimately James must confront Doctor Maybe face to face (so that they can talk calmly about their differences, you understand). To do this, he must enter Santa's snow-encrusted castle and search each room. But he needs to be careful, because the malicious Maybe has turned the whole place into a death trap - swiping maggots off rusty hooks without impaling your tip lip is a doddle compared to this. For a start, each room is protected by penguin-shaped bombs (and this originally came out ages before Batman Returns came out, remember?) which James has to disarm before he can leave that room and go on to the next.

But the scaly superspy has a few tricks of his own, including a specially-designed protective suit with a battery-powered extendo-tail. This means that, if James needs to reach up further than he can jump, he just pushes a button and his tail becomes infinitely extendable.

You take control of the pliable piscian in this epic platformer. Basically you have to explore every nook and cranny of the castle, either avoiding or bopping the nasties as you see fit. Shrinking back into your suit when you jump protects you from any harm and also disposes of any baddies you bounce on.

The game has a wonderfully physical feel to it. Ease up on the joystick and James doesn't stop dead, he skids to a halt. You have to take this momentum into account, otherwise you'll end up sliding off the end of a platform and impaling yourself on the spikes below. More to your advantage, though, is the fact that James can change direction in mid-jump and that leaping on to something bouncy, like jelly, will make him soar up to even greater heights.

There are loads of secret pick-ups hidden behind platforms or in boxes. The ones behind the platforms are always goodies, such as extra lives, but you can never be sure what you're going to discover in the boxes. The only way to find out is by banging your bonce on their undersides to open them [That sounds painful! - Ed]. So the game isn't just a find-the-exit-and-blast-everything-in-sight-on-the-way jaunt, there are loads of nooks to investigate and disguised crannies to explore along the way.

All this, combined with the hugeness of the levels and the sheer number of rooms to explore makes for a fantastically long-lasting game which well and truly gets its hooks in from the very first screen. I can guarantee that when you lose all your lives and don't have any of your three continues left, you'll have no qualms about loading the game up again straight away (even though it does take its time!).

If you didn't buy RoboCod a year ago as a full-pricer, then trundle along to your local computer shop right now and buy it. And if they haven't got any in, then get them to order it. Well, what are you waiting for? I said now!

You can make your life a lot easier on the cake level by picking up the hidden pair of wings. Go to the last cake at the bottom right of the level and slip carefully off the right hand side. Below you will be a small cakey platform where you'll find the wings. Stick 'em on... and soar!

Graphics 88%
Small sprites in a big, bright and colourful world of platforms.

Sound 85%
One of the most whistle-able game soundtracks ever written.

Playability 98%
Who could resist a fish in armour? Okay, you could, but not the gameplay.

Lastability 64%
Lots of secret rooms to explore and hidden bonuses to find.

Overall 93%