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Before we begin talking about the game, let's give you a brief history of the films. Alien was one of the finest Sci-Fi movies ever made. Far from being a white 'n shiny glimpse at a futuristic spaceship crew who wear cack costumes and say things like "We're getting a twelve groink reading from sector Alpha/Omega/Pants Captain," the people and the ship they worked on was a much more realistic affair with dirt in every corner, creased boiler suits, and no doubt some mouldy leftover potato salad in a small disk in the fridge. Needless to say, they investigated a crash site, had a bit of an internal run-in with a 'thing' went back to their own ship and, as a result, began to feel somewhat "alienated", if you'll pardon the pun [I see no pun - Ed]. Oh, and the only survivor was Ripley (Sigourney Weaver, phwoar!) and her cat.

Part two began when Ripley woke up from a fifty year sleep to discover that a Terraforming community had been set up on the planet where the aliens were first discovered. Alarmed by the whole thing, she toddles off again to do battle with the vicious Zenomorphs, pronounced Zen-O-Morf if you're British or Zee-No-Morf if you're from the States (Please note however that all Americans are incurably dim and can't speak properly - Dept. of Sweeping Generalisations). Chapter two ends up with almost everybody dead and Ripley once more surviving and looking slightly sweaty.

In the third and (we hope final) instalment, Ripley gets banged up in a high security prison, populated by a raggle-taggle horde of annoyingly screechy Australian "sheila's" who, for some curious reason, are all called Bea [Er, I think you're probably referring to SydneySoft's Prisoner Cell Block H Simulator - Ed]. Um, okay, try this for size them. Ripley travels off to a high security prison on another planet which is not only populated by the most gruesome bunch of no-hopers seen this side of the CF office, but which has also become infested with the Alien scum that caused so much "irritation" in the first two films. However, this time the hero discovers that all these foul creatures have come from a giant Queen who also happens to be a chicken [Oh, for crying out loud. It's obvious you haven't actually seen the film, so what say you just tell us about the game?! - Ed].

It'll come as no surprise to discover that this is a platform shoot-'em-up (mainly because film licences invariably are but also because we told you last month). It takes place over a whopping fifteen levels which can be played on one of three skill levels easy, normal and hard. Each level (apart from the Guardian levels, but more on those later) takes the form of a maze of platforms, ladders and lifts of varying complexity and the aim is to run around shooting aliens, rescuing the required amount of prisoners and finding the exit all within a strict time limit. There are, within this structure three types of level, rescue (in which you rescue prisoners), Mayhem (in which you, er, rescue prisoners), and mission (in which you rescu... oh dear, I think we'll just gloss over this bit).

Anyway, between each level there's a network of passageways which you have to crawl through, again within those very strict time limits. Once you've successfully negotiated one of these, a screen appears telling you how well you did and how much bonus you scored then it's onto the next level. Of course, what your success really depends on is your ability to make the aliens, as it were, dance a merry jig of doom, so it's fortunate that you have several weapons at your disposal including a cannon, a flame-thrower and several bombs. Each of these is more or less effective in different sections of the game but to be honest, you can still complete it on easy level using just the cannon.

After every few levels, you'll meet a guardian. Guardians are much like the in-game aliens except that these are about five times bigger and take an awful lot of shots to kill. Having said that, all the guardians are exactly the same, so they shouldn't cause too many problems (after all, you've seen one twin-mouthed, exo-skeletal alien with acid for blood, you've seen 'em all). So that's pretty much as far as it goes with the gameplay. So now the all-important question. How painful is the tape loader?

Not painful at all is the answer. Despite every level (even the short Guardian ones) being loaded from cassette individually, the waiting time is fairly minimal, so by the time you've calmed down after completing the previous level, the next one is up and running. Hurrah!

Summy up bit. Right, well you're all probably getting rather bored of my ramblings now, and no doubt wishing that something would attach itself to my face [the end of my baseball bat quickly springs to mind - Ed], so I'll do the summy-up type thing. Basically, Alien 3 is nothing outrageously special. The gameplay is fairly standard, and all the levels are very similar indeed. What's more, it's also a bit too easy. But don't write it off just yet.

The action is actually well-paced and the way the time limits are set really does add to the tension. In fact, even when you know a level back to front, you'll only have about twenty seconds to spare, and when you're crawling through a small tunnel to reach the end, you can actually start to feel quite panicky and claustrophobic. The game's got one of those well-measured plot lines which pulls you in slowly, and then grips until you finish it. It's not going to get you running around the garden shouting "Eureka! I've found paradise and it's a C64 cassette" but it will undoubtedly keep your backside on your chair for a good few hours. So pack a cushion.

I don't think I need to remind you of this but if a strange six-fingered "thing" attaches itself to your mate's face for a few hours than falls off as if nothing had ever happened, find a new friend to hang out with...

Graphics 70%
Bit dodgy in places but there's some nice animation and it's all very bleak.

Sound 72%
Not spectacular but it only take a few gunfire effects to get me hot.

Playability 61%
Initially fun, then slightly repetitive, but you can't argue with that curious addictiveness.

Lastability 59%
Easy mode is too easy, and you probably won't want to play much after finishing it.

Overall 78%