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I'm probably a terrible person because I don't do a lot for the environment. I don't recycle, I'm not in Greenpeace and if people ask me where's my social conscience, I tell them to ask someone who cares. I pay my taxes and figure that, if pollution is really a great problem, there should be minds greater than mine putting at least some percentage of that money toward decontaminating the rivers and ensuring marine life aren't choking on bits of plastic. However, Polymer Picker gives apathetic little bastards like me the opportunity to tackle these sorts of problems head on.

You see, there's this little bay that's full of fishes. Awww. However, the bay's also full of plastic - bottles, cans and those round string things that hold a six-pack of beers together, to be precise. You take control of a prone, outstretched diver and your task is to swim through the bay's underbelly picking up the plastic before those curious fishes start chewing on it. For each plastic item you pick up you receive some points and the warm, fuzzy feeling that you've saved a fish's life. You only have a limited amount of oxygen however, so don't swim too deeply when it's running low, because you'll need to make a bee-line for an aqualung when it appears!

Initially Polymer Picker looks like it's going to be quite an epic game, with a few nicely digitsed loading screens, a professional Mode 7 opener and high score table, and a nicely laid out playing area. Unfortunately though, it's when you start to move that you start to appreciate that it's fairly limited. The main problem is that it's just not exciting enough. Swimming around collecting bits of plastic is boring without any patrolling nasties to avoid. Just introducing the odd vertically-scrolling jellyfish (or something similar) would do wonders for the gameplay.

The second level, which of course you are guaranteed to reach once you've collected all the plastic from the first one, alleviates this somewhat by dispensing with fishes and instead introducing a hungry shark. The shark relentlessly homes-in on you, similar to that of Shards' classic Whoopsy, and the only way you can avoid being bitten (which incidentally, gives a nice blood effect!) is to swim "faster" by holding down the RETURN key.

Sadly, if you do manage to avoid the shark and collect up all the plastic, level three just gives you fishes to protect again. And thus it continues: protect the fishes, avoid the shark, protect the fishes, avoid the... Heck, it probably goes on repeating this pattern forever. Where's the level where you have fishes to protect and the watery predator to avoid? Come on, game, I want to feel adrenaline, the thrill of the chase, a bit of panic...

Regrettably, due to the lack of action, Polymer Picker plays a bit like a type-in game from the magazines of old. Undoubtedly, it would be a type-in from a superior magazine, Your Computer rather than the mostly better-used-as-toilet-paper Acorn Programs magazine, but a type-in nonetheless. The graphic of the outstretched diver is good and, once you learn that you need your midriff to come into contact with items to pick them up, easy enough to move around the bay. However, I think author Stephen Scott's Headcase Hotel is much more addictive to play than this.

If you liked Whoopsy and Savage Pond back in the day, then this is sort of a cross between the two, and probably worth giving a go. However, I suspect one or two goes on it are all most other gamers will manage. My tip: load it into an emulator and crank up the speed to 150% for a more exciting playing experience than you'll get on an original BBC.