Previous Next

Yeehah! Take that, ye varmint. Pakow pakow. Well howdy pardners. This here Mountie Mick's Deathride stinks worsa than a buzzard's armpits.

You be Mountie Mick the tubby mountie, who's a ridding the ol' iron horse (now I liked that) known as the Trans-Canadian Express, which is carrying a cargo of gold. The lowdown McClusky gang have got it into their heads that they would like to be big and famous, and so are 'temptin' to pinch gold.

They reckon'd without our intrepid hero Mick, who interrupts their evil deed and soon has them hightailin' down train a leapin' from carriage to carriage with Mick blastin' after them with his trusty Smith & Wesson. A problem with the ol' S&W it its ammo economy is almost zero, which simply means Mick is in big trouble. With an empty gun what's our hero gonna do? Hit the suicide key and get dead where he stands? Rick the desperados and find some more ammo? Or use his guts? Now Mick has really got guts, all he has to do is jump on one of them there baddies and they end up flatter than a pancake. But the McCluskys 'ain't gonna take it lyin' down, oh no, they'll try to bury Mick under a hail of bullets or blow him with some grenades they jus' happened to find lyin' around.

Mick may also fall prey to some other evils like express mooses, trip up in the darkness of a tunnel, choke on a gas leak, or jus' plain full off the train. Sounds like fun, don't it? If this is all too much for poor ol' Mick, try out the lightweight body armour (that's a cheat mode, dummy) which makes the Mountie bulletproof ('tho it don't make him mooseproof).

If'n you reach the front of the train in one piece, you can hop on to a cart which the train happens to be pushin' along, then you can revitalise the old Decathlon skills and get pushin' under Mountie power to the next train, though I was under the impression there was only one. There are a total of nine trains, each one a bit longer than the previous, but just as easy. Speakin' of easy, I've only had the game for a couple of days and I kin get ta level 7 already.

To say the graphics are bad would be an understatement, they are appallingly bad; so bad, in fact, they would suit a game five years its senior. What surprised me most though, the sound was by We M.U.S.I.C. I wasn't exactly prepared for a tune that I could have written on the toilet which repeats every thirty seconds.

The price is cheap. OK, but still represents bad value for money.