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Hah! It sez here that this game is all about the McClusky gang, who have raided the Trans-Canadian Express and are running from Mountie Mick. They lob lead pellets, bombs, grenades and other instruments of badness at him while he chases them along the top of the train. Special mention is also made of loose moose (note the plural), chemical leaks and dark, dark tunnels. Balderdash.

We can reveal the true nature of the game for the first time. Mountie Mick is none other than 'Desperate' Mick Mountie, commuter and British Rail escapee. The MeClusky gang is a team of highly-trained and lethally armed BR inspectors, with a licence to kill and a mission to rid the network of those who sit in first-class carriages with second-class (ooops, 'standard' these egalitarian days) tickets.

Mick started his day in a blind rage. He read in his newspaper that because Inter City trains were too crowded, BR were going to cut the numbers (entirely true). He had recently travelled steerage on a Plymouth-Paddington train, and the combination of that unfortunate experience and this information drove him over the edge.

He marched to the station. Pausing to strangle a guard, he leaped on to the first class coach, ignoring the sweaty masses hanging out of the doors in the other areas and sat down.

As the journey got under way, he calmed down a touch. There was a chance that the BR employees at the far end would have survived unscathed, except that the gang was on board. The gangsters burst through the far door of the first class compartment. "Tickets please, ladies and gentlemen" they called as they swept down the aisle. Nobody could escape.

They got to Mick, who, after a seconds hesitation, pulled out his season ticket. The inspector looked at the ticket. He looked at Mick. A hush (apart from the squealing of the wheels) fell on the carriage. "I'm sorry Sir", said the clippy. "This doesn't seem to be in order. Assume the position, dirt-ball". At this, he pulled out a Jimmy's Special, the Saville .45 Magnum, and aimed at Mike. The other inspectors gathered around, eagerly.

"No" said Mick. "Not this time. Not after Inter City."

With a wild yell he knocked the gun away, picked it up from the seat where it had landed, pulled a window down and squirmed on to the roof. A whistle sounded, and all down the swaying train inspectors swarmed up on to the top. Mick started to run down the chain of carriages.

An inspector stopped and took aim. Too late - Mick had brought him down with the deadly accuracy brought on by madness.

Towards the end of the train, the guard had supplied the inspectors with anti commuter grenades, standard equipment since the infamous Revolt of the Seven-Hour Delay. Due to Leaves on the Line at Clapham. These exploded around Mick, but he weaved and swerved, shooting to kill and hitting every time.

He was at the end of the train. The emergency escape device - a small cart - lay before him. He jumped on, loosened the bolts and set off down the track. The 8:15 pulled away with its load of carnage. The 8:34 lay ahead, and the wind blew the froth from Mick's mouth as he continued his insane mission.

Another chase the baddies down the top of the train job. I've always found this kind of game a bit of a lottery, and skill doesn't seem to enter into it.

This one is no different, no worse and no better than any other of its ilk. Ariolasoft call it hilarious. I don't.

Mountie Mick starts well, good title screen, colour rotation on the interrupts and multilevel scroll. The sprites are a bit small. Running down the train is very James Bondish, I don't understand where Mounties come into it, although I sympathise with anyone who has the motto "We always get our man".

The bit I did not like was the hand cart, waggling a joystick to make a sprite move is not my idea of fun. Longer trains and fewer of them would make a better game.

It is interesting how software houses which only do full price games think that £4.99 is cheap. Mountie Mick's Deathride is an experiment, to see how well cheap software sells. I think Ariolasoft will be surprised, it's a reasonable game and should persuade the games hungry amongst us to part with our pennies. I found it difficult to run and jump at the same time but it has one of my ingredients - you can learn a route. Ariola are right, it would be a dead loss at £9.95 but mid-price its OK.