Since I'm sure you have all had 1984-mongering way up past your keisters by now, you will get no more from me. Instead, let's consider the good Bishop Abernathy of the Abundant Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and his robot phone dialler.

The Bishop is one of the prophets of the new robot phone call age and uses a micro/phone system to keep in touch with his flock and to canvass beyond it. This is a phenomenon that threatens to change forever the American love affair with the telephone.

Indeed, the break-up of AT&T has already got plenty of Americans mad as hell. In some bid spread out states, where local service used to be subsidised by long distance, rates are going up 200% and more. Junk Phones could be the last straw and conceivably make the telephone the biggest election issue in the West.

However, infuriating as it can be to have one's answering machine loaded up with 18 questions about moist cat food or above-ground burial for the whole family, Junk Phone has irresistible figures going for it. All you need to get started is a micro, with voice chip, modem and software that dials your victims and plays them a selection of short message tapes. It's just great for sales leads, political rallying, church attendance and so on. Prices for such systems are down to between $3,000 and £10,000 and sales have reached 1,100 a month, which is double the figure on the previous year.

So more and more phone owners are likely to find themselves dragged from a hot bath only to discover the good Bishop Abernathy's robot enquiring after their spiritual health. Slamming the phone down with a satisfying crunch wil only be a short-term solution since, to get a repair person out to fix the phone now costs $100 (used to be free with the old AT&T). Nor are those with unlisted numbers safe, since the sequential type of dialler just chews its way through entire phone systems number by number.

The machines are programmed for maximum on-line civility, of course, and as yet they don't know how to sell, but they work 24 hours a day and they don't need light, air or even coffee to keep them going.

The potential uses are widespread, even thought-provoking. For example, Stag High School in Stockton, California, is using one to page the parents of truant kids, thus saving the school $2 million a year in funds that would be withheld on account of student absenteeism.

Then there was the November Gubernatorial Election in Louisiana where Democrat Ed Edwards had a machine make 60,000 calls during the last days on his campaign and won a landslide victory over ex-governor Dave Treen.

When the first sequential machines showed up in the 70s, the FCC investigated but was forced to conclude that the things were impossible to ban or control, so it sees unlikely that in a big election year, we an expect any efforts in that direction from Washington. If anything, political Junk Phone could be one of the biggest growth areas.

Clearly, frustration levels are going to rise until everyone buys a "smart" telephone capable of deflecting Junk. This may mean everyone will have two, three or more different numbers that you will need in order to penetrate to a real human ear.

More worrying stuff on the statistics front. A new Lou Harris poll found that 77 per cent of Americans fear computer invasion of their privacy. Worse still, 68 per cent feel that computers must be "strictly controlled". Naturally, it was those without computers who believed this most strongly.

In a study of 87 kids aged between five and eight, two Stamford University professors have confirmed the worst sex stereotyping in computer-owning families. Dads and sons work up to three hours a day on the micro; the ladies hardly touch it.

One good reason for that may lie in the software. Out of 75 software packs that were rated by these families, only 5 per cent held any interest at all for young girls. And thus of course, parents were loathe to buy micros for daughters.