If things work out properly this will be my first column transmitted by means of a modem. I'd say "with any luck", but luck should have noplace where the miracles of technology are concerned.

If my experience of modems to date is any guide, I'd say the odds are about even (no pun intended). Computer-to-computer or computer-to-bulletin board communication is just catching on over here. Mostly, it seems, it's happening among the foreigners or English-speaking (more accurately, English-writing) Japanese, thanks to that recurrent problem, Kamji - Chinese characters - which are beyond the limits of Ascii code. But even for those of us content to use English there are complications.

The particular network that I've joined is operated out of the Sanno Hotel, which is best described as a facility since it's run by the American military in Japan. It provides their people with a place to stay in Tokyo.

As usual, a variety of suppliers have concessions: among them is Corton Computers, which as part of its services operates Cort Net. The attraction of Cort Net is that membership is free to anybody with a micro and a modem, and that's where the complications set in.

Being a US facility serving US military personnel from the sundry bases in Japan - or, via its phone network, anywhere in the world - things at the Sanno are done the American Way. This means that Cort Net couplers use the Bell 103 system, whereas Japanese units that give you access to most of the rest of the world use the CCITT standard. Needless to say, the two are incompatible.

In order to communicate with Cort Net, "you need an American coupler, something not readily available in Japan."

Or do you? Japanese manufacturers, designing for the world as they do, build multiple capability into their equipment: 50/60 cycles, PAL, SECAM and NTSC television protocols and so on. Epson, a company well known for computers and peripherals, has built dual capability into its CP20 portable acoustic coupler so that it uses one set of circuits for local and European markets and a second set for the US. It's a simple matter to remove the connector installer by Epson and replace it with a switch, to make it easier to communicate in either Bell 103 or CCITT: this also makes it easier to communicate with networks in the US without losing other facilities.

The switch, incidentally, could help you sleep more easily if you suspect your phone is being tapped.

So - having acquired a CP20, and gone to all the trouble to broaden my horizons beyond Japan (and PCN) in the original CCIT mode, how much have I really gained?

Apart from the opportunity of running up a $300-$400 phone bill every month from accessing The Source, I can immediately reply to messages from friends. Well, almost immediately. Now, instead of phoning, I can simply e-mail a message by loading the comms program and opening my trap file for incoming mail - roughly 15 seconds - and phone the Sanno Hotel switchboard to ask to be connected to the network - the work of anything from a minute to three hours. I enter my password and the last two digits of my phone number - 25 seconds - and enable the upper/lower case capability of the network, re-setting the screen defaults from 40 to 80 columns. Then I input the first and last names of the person I'm calling, and key in the message if it's simple, like "let's have lunch tomorrow".

If it's more involved I can call up a pre-written file that's free of all the garbage WordStar uses.

All that's left to do is send the message and hope that the person it's intended for checks his mail before the time specified for the meeting or the lunch.

Come to think of it, I'd better confirm the appointment with a phone call.

Isn't progress wonderful?

Or do you ever feel that somebody's having you on?