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Quite why a rodent who wears red Y-fronts with white buttons and whose only significant characteristic is the fact that his age qualifies him for free travel on public transport should be a worldwide cult figure is anybody's guess: myself I find him far too clean-cut and 'cute' for my taste, but all the same, on with the game!

The four wicked witches of the East, North, South and West have stolen Merlin's wand. Why? So that their royal 'orriblenesses can put a curse on Disneyland therefore evicting all the current tenants, such as Minnie, Goofy, Donald and Co. and the other cuties we learnt to loathe! Well, the one thing we do know about our squeaky little rodent hero is that he does like to have an adventure, or to put it another way he simply can't leave anyone else to their own business! Mickey intends to get the wand back and restore Disneyland to its rightful owners.

To do this, Mickey has to enter each of the four towers of Disney castle, destroy the witches' henchmen, and complete all the little puzzle sub-games. The sub-games vary from mini-Gauntlet type mazes where you have to collect various items for your quest, to a deranged upside-downy version of space invaders.

To help on his quest Merlin has given Mickey a water pistol full of magic water, which will not just terminate the nasties when shot, but turns them into something that will help Mickey on his quest.

Among the things that the monsters will turn into when they're shot are:

1. Potions:
   These will boost Mickey's energy supply (as he only has the one single solitary life) and also boost Mickey's water supply.
2. Bomb:
   Yes! You guessed it, this will blast all nasties off the screen.
3. Glue:
   Sticks all nasties to the floor.
4. Shield:
   Temporary invincibility.
5. Ugly Face:
   When is looking as repulsive as Cyril Smith an advantage? When it means that you're so ugly your enemies run away from you!
6. Lightning
   Makes you as fast as...

Killing monsters is not simply a press-the-trigger matter. Oh no, you have two types of weapon: your trusty water pistol and a mallet. Your job is to work out which particular evils are affected by which.

Don't misunderstand me, my little treacle-buns, Mickey Mouse isn't really a bad game, it's just that every time I play it I get deja vu. Not of any particular game, but of around three hundred other puzzle-and-shoot arcade adventures throughout the last five years - and I wasn't really that keen on them then. Despite the fact that at least the graphics look like Mickey Mouse (a point on which many cartoon hero games have failed) and the sound is not a bad little rendition of the music from Fantasia, basically my feelings towards this product are similar to those of my feelings towards Mickey himself - all a bit insignificant and dated. Sorry Mick!