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There should be a prize for the best guess at just what the 'Mean' in Mean 18 means. Does it mean the mathematical mid-point of 18? If so, why not save the printers the time and effort in typography and just call in 'nine'? If it means 'average' then the Hit Squad should definitely prepare for a pre-emptive libel case. It is without question below average, m'lud. Or maybe it's due to the asking price of a tenner still being a bit on the mean side and they really want 18 quid. Either way, my money's saying firmly in my mean old pocket.

Golf has always struck me as a game that, despite the undisputed skill involved, is ultimately as pointless as a dog chasing a car. Grown men and women hit a ball with their expensive sticks as far as they can. The further the better. No sooner has this been done they chase after it, only to hit it away again! Apparently executives play golf as an aid to decision-making and for relief. Send you 'Does executive relief make you blind?' letters to The Hit Squad, alright?

Unfortunately, there's no relief from the tedium of this game. Nothing much distinguishes one hole from the other. The graphics are flat and boring and suffer from the kind of dithering that could be called an out-and-out stutter [Computing joke. We're sorry - Ed] In fact, the only saving grace is that you may find yourself coming over all squidgy and sentimental about the halcyon days of the good old C64. Regrettably, Mean 18 has none of the gameplay or charm that the old workhorse's games could muster.

If you like collecting porcelain figurines or watching laundry dry then this might be your kind of game. For everyone else, and that includes all you weirdo golf fans, stay clear.

Okay, it's only a budget game, but it really is worth saving up the few extra quid for PGA Tour, or even going the whole hog on Nick Faldo's. This is cheap, but it's very nasty.