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Meet Mario an' Luigi, two ver' nice Italian boys. They gotta dis lil' problem wivva de turtles ana crabs, dey keeps droppin' outta de pipes, an' bitin' dem on-a de bums. Ees no joke, I'm-a tellin' you.

Mario and Luigi are of course the Mario Bros, and this is Ocean's version of the Nintendo arcade original. And very good it is too.

Basically a platform game, it plays differently to any others. For starters, the platforms are super slippery, making movement at speed difficult and dangerous. And the ledges are also rubbery, so that jumping causes the ledge above to bend, and anything on it will flip over.

And that's the whole point of the game. As the shell-creepers (turtles) drop out of the pipes at the top of the screen, and descend level by level, Mario and Luigi scamper about, avoiding fireballs, and bouncing up and down to knock the shell-creepers onto their backs. Then, before the things recover, they quickly boot them off the ledge.

Well, it's not as easy as it sounds. The shell-creepers are spewed forth in increasing numbers and as play progresses they move ever faster. Soon the screen is crawling with the vicious little brutes, and the Mario Bros spend more time escaping from them than kicking them. The lads have only three lives each, and one touch from a shell-creeper of fireball is fatal.

Mario and Luigi have, however, one trick to fall back on in times of crisis. In the centre of the screen is a large POW button, and if they hit this then all the shell-creepers on-screen are stunned, and the Mario Bros can dash about kicking the shell out of the lot. Unless, that is, some of the creatures were already stunned, in which case they recover when the POW button is employed. Not only must this device be used with care, but also sparingly, as it disappears after only a few hits.

Phases 1 and 2 are shell-creeper screens, and getting through those brings our heroes to Phase 3, a bonus screen where extra points can be grabbed by hitting as many discs as possible in the time allowed.

Phase 4 introduces the side-steppers - large crabs, and lots of them. These have to be stunned twice before they can be toppled, and it's quite likely that this will be the end of the line for Mario and Luigi. Rumour has it that later screens have flies on them.

In a two-player game, each player controls one of the brothers and they can decide whether to help or hinder each other. If only one plays, then Mario alone takes on the massed hordes of shell-creepers and side-steppers. Playing with two is more fun, but playing alone is a damn sight more difficult.

Everything that should be in a decent arcade game is present - lots of silly sound effects, fast action and smooth movement, bonus points all over the shop, and a decent slice of slapstick comedy. Incredibly easy to pick up, the game continually opens out as you improve your tactics and joystick reactions. Sadly, although there is a hi-score board, it doesn't include any ranking, so there's no way of comparing your scores.

Unfortunately, if you're well familiar with the Nintendo arcade game, you'll find this doesn't resemble it at all.

Still, if you're into a bit of head-banging and crab-stomping, join up with the Mario Bros. You know it makes no sense at all - but it's great fun.