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Lazer Tag is the computer game of the real thing - based on all those TV advertised games where you have a laser gun and a target that sticks to your jumper, whenever a direct hit is scored the target lights up or bleeps or whatever, I've never played it, but the 'real thing' looks like great fun.

By comparison, the game is a yawn. You take the part of a cadet at the Lazer Tag training school and must battle your way through various tough gruelling assignments on the Lazer Tag assault course in the allotted time without falling asleep, dying from premature old age or switching channels to catch fifteen minutes of the Animals Roadshow - which is marginally more exciting.

Each stage of the course is given a name. The half dozen I managed, before the temptation to have a bath got the better of me, were called Neophite, Beamer, Armsman, Lance, Professional and Duellist, whatever significance that might have. The only worthwhile difference I could make out was that the courses change each time, whilst the action, if that's the word for it, stays much the same.

You start out at the bottom of the screen and proceed Commando-style to the top. You and everyone else is armed with the obligatory lazer gun and tag. You have to shoot as many of them as possible whilst making your way to the top of the screen which then scrolls to reveal yet more exciting territory to conquer. Eventually a little gate appears indicating the end of that section.

Then something weird happens. You repeat the entire section again in remote control. I broke two joysticks before I realised what was going on. The only thing you can do is fire in any direction, your little man sleepwalks the course without any help whatsoever. Unless this is some kind of attempt to show you how it should be done, whilst dishing out some bonus points for sharp shooting, I don't know what the hell is happening.

Anyway, at the end of your two rounds the score is totted up, based on how many hits you scored on the other 'Taggers' and how much time was remaining on the clock when you reached the gate.

The course itself has some interesting (?) distractions. Firing at the spinning terminals is a good idea as your laser bolts are deflected in two or four directions at once - bad news for the opposition. You can also pick up items along the way if you can distract yourself for long enough to stop running and shooting at the same time. Every now and then a helicopter or some kind of futuristic-looking transporter thing hovers overhead and has a go at you. Getting hit, by the way, ain't so good, not only do you lose one of your six lives, but you get held up while you go through the motions of 'taking your shots, i.e.: standing around the interminable seconds with both arms in the air.

No, this is definitely not the answer. If your budget won't stretch to the real thing complete with guns, targets and 'realistic living room playing arena', I'd go for the water pistol option.