Junior Sports Basketball is full of the sort of dialogue that could only have been written by 40-something marketing men who think they're being 'hip' and 'down' with the kids. To make matters worse, it's been voiced by a cast that sounds as unnatural as Joe Pasquali calling you up for phone sex. This, as you can well imagine, is something that gives us the rabid fear.

It might be a little unfair to judge a game on such a superficial level as dialogue, but even with the sound turned off (or our ears plugged with boiling wax, whichever is easier) the rest of the game's not much better. There seems to be a lot of controls for a 'junior' game but only one or two buttons that actually affect gameplay. And there's very little sense of achievement, through all the frantic ball chasing and button pressing. The average match consists of one team losing the ball and the other one scoring, then swapping over. Power-ups appear periodically in an attempt to add interest, but they're just as hit and miss as the controls. So like the rest of the game, they're nothing more than a wasted opportunity.

Junior Sports might be aimed at the three-foot-and-under market, but there should still be some sense of reward from playing it - whatever the age of the player. Maybe we're wrong. Maybe it's an NBA Street for those still young enough to believe in Santa Claus, but we suspect if he brought them this for Christmas then that belief could be severely shaken.

Graphics 50%
Bright and bold, but very basic.

Sound 20%
Please make the voices stop...

Gameplay 40%
As deeply irritating as those damn voices.

Lifespan 50%
There's no reason to keep onplaying.

Overall 40%
All very well if you like your sports sims to be frantic, pointless and drastically unrewarding. Save your cash for NBA Street instead.