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There are two teams and that's about the only resemblance this game bears to the real thing. You can either play against a friend - if you can interest one - otherwise the C16 is your opponent.

At kick off time you get a grandstand view of the pitch at the halfway line. As the play moves to either end, usually your own, the screen pans in to take in the action. The ref blows his whistle (there isn't actually a referee, you have to pretend) and you're away - or rather the opposition is. It took me a good ten minutes to work out exactly what was going on and that was after I'd realised the instructions had told me to put the joystick in the wrong port.

During the course of play, the player nearest the ball is the active one, or at least should be. He is the one who will respond to your joystick or keyboard controls. In practice, the active players seem to change quite arbitrarily and you always get lumbered with the one who's in the least useful position.

Taking possession is simple you just walk up to the ball and it's yours, unless of course the opposition have it, in which case a bit of cynical fouling is on the cards. You can kick the ball using the fire button, strength being determined by the length of time you hold it down. I reckon many hours practice would be required to produce anything like accurate passing.

If you actually manage to score the crowd goes wild, pulling funny faces and clapping. It's a pity there's no sound here as it might have gone some way to improving things.

So what's wrong with it? Well, for a start there is little resemblance between this and football. Fouls go unpunished - despite what it says in the blurb about a penalty kick (from the centre spot!). Virtually every time I managed to gain possession I had the legs chopped from under me, dirty isn't the word. This wouldn't have been so bad had the promised fight developed - for which you are awarded a penalty - but they wouldn't be goaded.

This was very definitely not a game of two halves. When we were supposed to change ends the score reset and a new game was started, just when I was poised for a 9-0 comeback.

On top of all this, the graphics are pretty poor. The players look like poorly drawn matchstick men, are very flickery and at times bits of them disappear completely. Magnificent 7 won't score with this one.