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I play most of my golf in the rough, which is why I've taken to Hole In One - it's a very rough game. But, "...it knocks other golf games into the rough" claim the mad guys from MAD. They've obviously just come out of a bunker and haven't yet heard about Golf Construction Set and Leader Board (venerable hush).

Hole In One is like playing pro-celebrity golf without the pros or celebrities. Your golfer is lousy, the clubs seem none too good and holes look remarkably similar to each other. On top of that, the players aren't wearing loud trousers and one of them has a grey face - he must have played before.

Still, the programmers prove they know a thing or two about golf by providing us with an 18-hole course, a full set of clubs (including golf bag), a choice of one or two players, full information about each hole (distance and par) green tilt and wind direction indicators.

And they know that golf courses are usually green: you get a fairway (green), a green (light green), trees and shrubs (darker green) - but they lose points by making shrubs look like Crimean War army tents. They also know golfers keep their clubs in golf bags because you actually see your man striding up confidently to pluck out the club you've chosen.

And now for the funny bits: the swing has got to be seen to be believed, so has the zig-zag flight of the ball. It doesn't seem to make much difference what club you choose because there's no real way of judging distances. Compensating for windspeed and wind direction doesn't have any effect either.

When you get to the green (probably many shots over par), you can watch in amazement as your ball wriggles like a snake towards the hole. The putting sequence is so ill-conceived that you could be inches away from the hole, take an almighty swing and still pot your ball (oops, wrong game).

In case you're still determined to play, I'd better tell you how shots are set up. Using your joystick, you choose a club, set direction, pull back the joystick for power of swing and then push forward to hit the ball. That's it!

If you really like playing golf, don't bother with Hole In One you'd be better off playing with an umbrella, a ping-pong ball and a tea mug.