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As a Scotsman, and the only real footy fan in the office now that Colin's gone, it had to be me who reviewed this game. To tell you the truth though, I'm a bit scared to. The game's rubbish (more on that later, analysis fans), but I don't want to have to be the one that tells old Graeme so.

The Animal of Anfield, the Gadaffi Of Govan, the Prince Of Darkness, Scotland's answer to Arnold Schwarzenegger in football boots, Graeme 'Studmarks' Souness isn't a man known for taking prisoners, on or off the field (just ask Aggie, the St Johnstone tea lady).

It's fortunate, then, that Graeme is unlikely to take any criticism of this game as a personal affront, because his involvement with it would appear to begin and end with his name on the box.

So let's - in a manner which I'm sure Graeme himself would heartily approve of - put the boot in.

Now, I'm all in favour of the original approach to football on the Amiga. Kick Off (the original) and Manchester United Europe are all very well, but they're both very much arcade-type games which just happen to be about football. The true simulation concept has been tried a couple of times so far (I Play 3D Soccer and International Soccer Challenge) without success, so there's clearly still a gap in the market for a game which gives you that real 'on the pitch' experience.

In theory, Graeme Souness Vector Soccer fills that gap, with 3D graphics and loads of moving camera views and stuff giving a real 'Match Of The Day' feel, but - inconveniently - it more or less completely fails as a game. The most obvious reason why is the graphics - even on the minimum-detail setting, the rudimentary player figures lurch up and down the field in a manner so crude, slow and jerky that it's almost impossible to follow.

Tackling happens without players appearing to go anywhere near the man in possession, and it's frequently extremely difficult to tell where the ball actually is. Control is very poor also, with players shooting and passing the ball apparently at will and the computer very rarely giving you control of the player you actually want. (Then again, for the reasons previously explained, it doesn't really help you if it does anyway!)

I hate to be so negative about such an innovative effort (and, to be fair, the game does have some good points, like the excellent replays you get of any goals scored by either side at the end of each half), but at the end of the day (sorry!) this is a game which is twice as much fun to watch on demo mode than it is to actually try and play. Sorry Impulze (and Graeme), but this one plays like Gazza with both his knees knackered. And what kind of a Graeme Souness licence is it when you can't even foul anyone anyway?

A brave try, but it doesn't work as a game. You're more likely to score the winning goal in a World Cup Final than you are to get £26 worth of entertainment out of this.