Godzilla finally celebrated his 50th birthday this year. From trampling Tokyo to resurrecting and burying Matthew Broderick's career in one fell swoop, the wrinkled old quinquagenarian is back for more. Give it up mate, you're embarrassing yourself.

Godzilla: Save The Earth is Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee with a modest story mode known as the Action mode and online options attached. The Action mode, or ACTION MODU! if you're a hardcore 'Zilla fan, is little more than a series of brawls interspersed with sub-quests such as saving buildings from aliens or shooting ships. Think Street Fighter's car-bashing sub-games, only a lot taller and with the whiff of rubber. Still though, the crux of Godzilla is the beat-'em-up aspect.

To be fair, the scuffles are impressively destructive. Buildings topple, itsy-bitsy cars plough into your great clumping hooves and fizz into oblivion, and dinky aircraft buzz past your ears. The only problem though, is the other rubber gonk opposite you wanting to kick your hind. It's like being trapped in an episode of Power Rangers. For all the cheek puffing and bravado between the two beasts, the combat is atrocious. When you're not wrestling someone in a comedy lizard suit, you're tip-toeing through buildings or rolling around the floor. The collision detection will happily allow you to punch through an enemy, just as it will allow them to pick you up and throw you without so much as touching a hair on your head. Bleurgh!

Special powers are pretty natty even if the combat isn't, enabling you to unleash a blast of halitosis on everything. But when bouts alternate between punch, kick, breathe, punch, kick, breathe, the appeal bombs. Four-man melees are just as bad, only there are more of you slugging it out. More, in this case, does not mean merrier.

Still, if you're a hardcore GODZIRRA FANU!, you'll be pleased to see a complete back catalogue of enemies ready for a pummelling. All the monsters are here and its a nice touch allowing a choice between 90s 'Zilla and 'Zilla 2000, but for the untrained eye that's like choosing between a glove puppet and a glove puppet with boggly eyes.

As if to compound the misery, there seems to be some kind of gremlin at work within the code. Pause for any length of time and the game sees fit to cut into a rolling demo and you have to start all over again. We advise not drinking any quantity of liquid before playing, and pulling out all the phone cables too. Then again, if you do that, how are you going to play it on Live? Gosh, what a darned shame. Best bin it just to be safe.

1. Great collection of Godzilla monsters all make a return. It's like watching a Spice Girls reunion.
2. Godzilla is a monster, not a man in a suit, so why does all the combat feel as though you're actually controlling men in suits?
3. The special attacks are pretty nifty and the destruction of whole cities is almost enough to make you want to play a level or two.

1. That collision detection! Where did it come from - a clearance sale at the 'Nothing Over A Pound And Crappy Collision Detection' shop?
2. That pesky reload gremlin. Why do you taunt us Why do you reload when we've paused the game for more than a nano-second?

Pointless sequel to a pointless original. There are over 20 'Zilla movies - let's hope there are only two Xbox games.