Just what the world's been waiting for - a text-only American football simulation! You think I'm exaggerating? Wrong.

A careful reading of the Quarterback's cassette cover reveals that nowhere does it actually say you're going to get a graphics-style game, but I'm sure I won't be the only one to be disappointed on discovering that the graphics end with the loading screen. The comprehensive rules for American football are clearly explained on the insert, and when loaded up you can choose a one or two player game and also load a previously saved effort.

The rules are too complicated to go into in detail if you don't know them, but basically you have an attacking team (in possession of the ball) and a defending team. The attacking team have four attempts, in which they must gain ten yards, in order to keep possession. Each attempt will be a particular move, identified by a number, and this is what happens when you see the players in a huddle shouting "7... 16... 35... yo!" in the middle of the match.

In Quarterback, the Offence team can choose from sixteen moves, the numbers being listed across the top of a table of potential outcomes. The Defence team have eight possible countermoves, which are listed down the side. Let's assume you're playing against the computer, and you're the Offence team. You press the appropriate number key for the play you want, say, four. The computer will independently choose its defence, let's say it chooses three, and thwere the two plays meet on the table is indicated by the result.

In this case it would be a gain of two yards for the team with the ball. It might have been three yards lost, eight yards gained, with other options being Interceptions, Fumbles and other features of the American game. A bar across the top indicates how the ball moves backwards and forwards, till one team makes a touchdown.

And basically that's it. There are four quarters to play through, time-outs to be called, and a league table at the end. Exciting, eh?

Aside from a couple of minor bugs, the "game" is pretty dull, so if you like American football stay tuned to Channel 4, not, Channel 36.