One of the most recited movie quotes of recent years has to be the classic line from David Fincher's movie: "The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club." Well, we're going to incur the wrath of Tyler Durden by indeed talking about it. If only we had something really nice to say...

The twisting script was a significant part of what made the film so great, though unfortunately the Fight Club game boasts no such editorial genius. The story mode is a tired tale of your anonymous character entering Fight Club, looking for Tyler Durden. Players jet their way around the country, meeting different chapters of Fight Club and fighting their way through just about every person you talk to. Every character from the film is here (including soon-to-be-annihilated Angel Face), and although there may be some visual similarities, the radically different voice acting destroys any illusion of authenticity. The cutscenes themselves aren't much cop either - the narrated comic book-style stills serve to progress the story but are stilted and uninvolving.

Combat itself is painfully slow. Players can choose from Brawler, Grappler or Martial Arts fighting styles, which mixes up gameplay a bit. Each character moves with the agility of bitch-titted Bob wading through concrete, and because Fight Club isn't the most flamboyant fighter out there, the usual array of spectacular special moves is absent. As a result, mano-a-mano action (all this topless scrapping is somewhat homoerotic) is more akin to something like Rocky Legends, where players must think about accurately landing (and avoiding) punches rather than mindless button-bashing. The upside is thoughtful, tactical combat; the downside is that you can see that swinging roundhouse coming from the middle of last week, and have ample opportunity to block or evade it. Taunting an opponent is a fun feature but, because of the time it takes for your character to register and perform said action, you'll be on the floor before you can say "Come and have a..."

All amateur pugilists have to practise somewhere, so the Training mode gives players the chance to scrap with an unresponsive opponent. That said, normal enemy AI shares the same attributes - winning a bout is merely a question of repeating the same combo against them until they submit. Certain fights call for specific objectives, like breaking an opponent's arm. However, with no explanation as to how to pull off these precision combos, players are left to discover the exact move needed through frustrating trial and error.

But, just like Helena Bonham Carter's character in the film, there's something sluttily alluring about Fight Club. We love the way blood splatters all over the screen after a particularly brutal move, only to slowly drip down the 'camera lens' ten seconds later. Multiplayer is much more fun than the standalone game, and caters for both System Link and Xbox Live play. However, two men stripped to the waist can only have so much fun without going any further, and with Fight Club unwilling to really push the genre, there's going to be a lot of disappointed greased-up gladiators out there.

1. Gritty, grappling fighter with the emphasis more on thoughtful combos and counters than button-bashing flurries.
2. Both character movement and combo execution is frustratingly slow, translating into a fairly tame fighting experience.
3. The front-end menus and general presentation is all very Fight Club, but the voice acting couldn't be further removed from the real actors.
4. Multiplayer is a real laugh, and both System Link and Xbox Live play provide more buddy-bashing than the average fighter.
5. Loads of hidden characters and movies to unlock, but the laborious story mode seems to drag on forever with no sense of reward.

A rough and tumble grappler that fails to capture the film's character or panache. You won't be talking about it too much...