"It's been two seeks since I wed, but the wife still refuses to consummate our marriage... apparently I don't spend enough time spoiling her with gifts and way too much time outdoors kicking chickens."

Explaining this to Peter Molyneux (Lionhead's MD) while still preserving my dignity is tough. He seems uneasy with my personal crusade against poultry, and with good reason. Sigmund Freud would have a blowout - not just with me, but also with Fable in general. It's psychoanalysis made fun!

More importantly, Fable is a gamers' fantasy made flesh. Rarely does an RPG appeal beyond a niche audience, but this action adventure oozes fun and accessibility from every pore. It's obvious Lionhead enjoyed making Fable as much as you'll enjoy making it your own unique experience.

No two people will ever complete Fable in the same way. It's a tribute to the depth and diversity on offer. But one thing's certain: the first time you play through the adventure, you'll start to see a mirror held up to the kind of person you really are.

Obviously, the best way to begin your life story is as a small child, and this is how you play through the first two hours. Good or evil beckon almost immediately as you perform tasks for the people of Oakvale. Will you take a bribe to protect a cheating husband or grass him up to his missus? You could even do both if you're a double-dealing kind of guy.

Temptation's everywhere. Unguarded valuables lie around invitingly, while certain NPCs act as provocateurs to evil deeds. The principle of character development is the same as Knights Of The Old Republic's: a benevolent act shifts your alignment to good; a moral lapse makes your hero more evil. However, the extent to which your alignment changes the nature of the game is far, far deeper. It's no longer a matter of influencing the story (actually the overall plot is mostly unaffected), but instead evolving your appearance and altering the way NPCs react to you.

After basic training at the Heroes' Guild, time jumps forward about ten years. Unleashed on the world as an adult amateur hero, the objective is to increase your fame or notoriety and discover who was responsible for your family's murder. Patience is very important because it'll take considerable time before you notice even the subtlest developments in your character's look. The passage of time only advances when you perform tasks, so leaving your Xbox switched on overnight won't do the job!

However seemingly inconsequential, every action has a positive or negative alignment and will modify your renown. This is astonishing when you realise how many things you can do. During my first seven hours of play, I robbed someone's house, slew a troll in my underpants, got wed, kicked a chicken 3.5654 metres into the air, caught a fish, drank beer until I puked and lost 3,000 gold at cards. Phew!

With so many diversions, it's easy to forget there are actual quests to complete. Thankfully, the mission structure is very flexible. Just like the GTA games, you can choose from a variety of trials, some of which offer wealth and fame and other key quests that advance the story.

Reaching the age of 40 is not the time for a mid-life crisis in Fable; it's when the action really kicks off. Having spent enough time messing about in the sandbox-style playground of Albion, you'll have moved onto completing quests and realised that this is the way to really advance your character.

For the first time, changes in appearance become more noticeable. Evil-doers' skin starts to turn pale and desecrated while your hair turns black as night. Another ten years and another 30 murders and you might even start to sprout devil horns. On the other hand, saintly heroes can expect Gandalf-style bristles and even a halo (unsurprisingly, not many of Lionhead's games testers have these).

Spending power also influences the way you look. In real life, I've tried to abandon my shabby dress sense (from the mean streets of Cardiff) and take on an '80s yuppie chic, so my hero has the most expensive clothes in Albion and an audacious moustache. It's almost reminiscent of DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball's outrageously self-indulgent dressing-up simulator. Although there aren't any bouncing fake breasts, you can still drag it up in a lovely blouse if that floats your boat.

Appearance is more than polygon skin-deep; it changes the way NPCs react to you. Wearing a dress will make you an icon of mockery, whereas sporting flash threads will make ladies swoon and easier to seduce. Everyone in the real world knows that beards and tattoos are scary (apologies to the Carter Bros), and Albion's NPCs know it too.

Combat also affects your hero's appearance. Battle scars are carried for life, while heavy weapon- wielders' arms grow to resemble tree trunks - the real-time combat system brilliantly acknowledges individual playing styles. It also rewards you for specialising in a discipline: magic, melee or archery. An expert archer will eventually be able to kill enemies with one hit using auto-aim or even take their heads off with the precise first-person targeting.

However, spending all your EXP points on magic means you'll rarely have to raise a crossbow or wield a sword. There are seventeen varied spells in total and you can set your favourite four to default and activate them using the face buttons.

But cleverest of all is the hack 'n slash melee combat. While similar to Sudeki's, the addition of a lock-on button makes focusing on a single foe far more deliberate. An equally valuable feature is the combo multiplier. Keeping a long combo going like in Ninja Gaiden results in greater damage and bonus EXP points.

But Fable understands that everyone has their own way of doing things. Instead of specialising, it's just as much fun to mix crossbow, magic and swordplay, and just as intuitive. Considering the quantity of actions available, the control system is incredibly intuitive and extremely satisfying to master. We can't emphasise enough how important this is, because the enemy Al is fairly tough and you are sometimes faced with 20 enemies at once. The battle arena (one of the highlights) is comparable to some of The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King's largest mash-ups and it's just as exciting.

Perhaps the only downside with Fable is that you're forced to return to the Heroes' Guild in order to spend your EXP points. There was nothing more pleasing in Knights Of The Old Republic than winning a battle and being able to level up right away. That instant hit of rewarding satisfaction seems undeniably absent here. Nevertheless, returning to the Guild isn't too much of a chore thanks to a teleport crystal that lets you instantly jump to any point in Albion.

While the framerate stutters fractionally during the more intense battles, Fable's graphics are so awe-striking that you won't be distracted. Monsters, in particular the earth and rock trolls, are vividly realised and animated; simply exploding and fizzing with personality. Albion's NPCs are equally lifelike. Offer a villager a few pints and you'll see just how far the animation goes. But most impressive are the bewilderingly realistic environments. There's variety, there's atmosphere, there's incredible detail; all enhanced by mesmerising sound and music.

There's just about everything you need to make a fantasy world spring to life and jump off the screen. But for all this, the most striking thing about Fable is just how user-friendly it is. Far from the friction of having a virtual spouse who won't sleep with you, Fable sweetly encourages some give-and-take hanky-panky with the gamer. You have to put lots of time in - more than 30 hours just to finish it once - and you have to be patient and not expect your hero to evolve instantaneously. In return, you'll be rewarded with a unique sandbox-style world, graphics and audio polished beyond belief, and a hero that you're genuinely proud of. Who cares that your wife won't sleep with you when there's so much high adventure to be had! Fable won't just take over your life; Fable will become it.

1. Makes you think about the kind of person you are in real life. Character development is unequalled in any Xbox RPG.
2. Albion is a sandbox-style playground where you'll probably spend more time doing stupid stuff than completing the quests. Brilliant.
3. The combat system reflects the freedom you have elsewhere in the game. Intuitive controls make mixing melee, archery and magic easy.
4. Monsters are intelligent and look superb. The same goes for Albion's gorgeous, varied environments.
5. Aside from the virtual hanky-panky, it's the most fun you can have with NPCs in any game ever.

Unique in the world of videogames. Confident, flashy and polished beyond belief, there's no way you won't love it.