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European 5-a-Side is a bit like sawn-off table football viewed from above with barriers around the side to avoid throw-ins and other complexities. In a way it is fairly faithful to real five-a-side, as long as it is being played by creatures who vary in size with direction.

Two types of kick are possible - the low pass, which is handy for scoring, and the high lob, which is handy for not very much at all.

When the ball is lobbed an impression of height is given by the ball growing to golf ball size, obscuring any players who may happen to be underneath, then shrinking to normal.

The game can be played by one or two players over 6, 10 or 20 minutes. While the two-player game can be a great strategic fight, the single player against the computer is a bit of a no-no.

It would seem that the opposition are quite obviously ex-Glasgow Rangers players since they move in a semi-random fashion, usually towards their own goal.

At least the goalie is good: he, she or it offers the only resistance to the players' George Best-like storm up the pitch.

Despite the skilled goalie, scores of 8-0 for the 10 minute game are quite possible, so as a one-player game its appeal would wane very rapidly. In this respect, European 5-a-Side scores badly against other football games, but its simple and speedy dual-play mode compensates reasonably well.

European 5-a-Side is not the best footy game around, Match Day 2 still holds that accolade. The addition of an extra human makes the game quite neat - maybe I'll go as far as "well wicked" - but the budget flickers and judders are still noticeable.