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"Eeeeeeeh..." No, this isn't going to work. [No, please, we'd like to see you try! - Ed] No, I'd better just tell you what it is and whether it's any good or not. That's what they pay me for, after all.

The first bit's easy enough. Just strike out the 'Emlyn Hughes' part of the title - he's got nothing to do with it apart from a rather flushed-looking and dodgy mugshot on the box - and what you're left with sums up the game pretty well. We look at the pitch from a side view (I must confess to being more of a 'from the top' man myself) [So we've heard! - Ed] and the game reminded me of nothing more than Match Day, the definitive Spectrum footy game. The only real difference is that Emlyn's players run everywhere, rather than walk sedately like they did on the dear old Spectrum. And of course there's the now almost obligatory token 'management' section which is probably best forgotten.

The game's got a very vintage feel to it, emphasized by the dispiritingly crap front end. Whoever designed that ought to be forced to watch the same episode of A Question Of Sport over and over again until they beg for forgiveness. Honestly, if people aren't even going to try, why don't they just not bother at all. Once you're past that though, it seems to play okay though. The players are rather oversized and unwieldy (that never stopped Gazza). And they get the job done with a certain degree of finesse (unlike Gazza). The computer puts up a pretty good fight, too (i.e. it beats me every time), and there are some fab crowd noises, so basically you're laughing. For footy on a budget, this is certainly one to consider.

The computerised equivalent of a quick kickabout in the yard. Old fashioned but well worth the money. "Errrrr, marvellous!" (Sorry.)