Tanner is a cop, a cop who knows how to get results. Tanner shoots first and asks questions later. Tanner knows the streets; this is his neighbourhood. Tanner sleeps with a gun by his side, and likes his woman like his liquor: cheap, Russian, and made from potatoes. Tanner is all cop... apart from those crustacean genes that make him walk like a crab. Tanner, Tanner, he's our man. If he can't do it, no-one can.

Driv3r (pronounced Driv-three-r presumably) is here, and it's trying to scrape its keys down the side of action gaming and steal its fluffy dice.

Tanner, undercover cop and star of previous games such as Driver and D2iver (six), has returned, having, it seems, not learned a thing from the GTA games that have since so deftly swiped the crown from his bonce. Don't worry, we won't repeatedly reference GTA throughout this review. Such comparisons would be wholly unfair, and won't paint a true picture of Driv3r's nature, but it has to be said, with GTA setting such a huge new benchmark, you'd at least try and aim for somewhere near it, wouldn't you?

The game begins on dubious ground, with Tanner racing alongside his companions to the scene of a siege. It seems radio communication is down because - and get this - if you don't manage to keep up with the pack of pedestrian-harvesting cop cars, you lose the first mission. Why? Is it police policy to try and shake off their colleagues in the hope of losing them on the way to a crime scene? We wouldn't usually pay so much attention to something so trifling so early on in the game, but in this case it acts as a perfect indication of what Driv3r is made of. The game, for all the fun you may or may not have, is a bundle of inconsistencies, illogical missions, dopey AI and irrelevancies.

The actual driving physics, car models, collision detection and vehicle handling are second to none. They really are superb. Like previous Driver games, you can Take A Drive before embarking on a mission, which is a little like taking a sightseeing tour without plastic cagoules and disposable cameras. You can choose your vehicle and destination, then take to the streets. Pull 180s, smash through stacks of boxes, demolish what you will, because it's deeply satisfying. Try out your weapons by blowing a traffic jam to smithereens or just have a browse around, because once you embark on the missions proper, you'll question virtually everything you're asked to do.

As a side note, the Take A Drive option begs the question why such vast cities have been created. Pop-up is rife, and seeing as this is the only free-roaming element of the game you'll encounter, you'll wish smaller, tighter gaming areas had been implemented to cut down on the hideous "an 18-wheeler has popped up five feet in front of me and it's going to quash me like a bug" scenarios.

Many of Driv3r's missions are now on foot (guess it wouldn't have had so much impact had it been called Stroll3r!) and it is in these that Driv3r suffers the most. As we mentioned, Tanner scuttles about like a crab, unable to jump the most meagre ledges, yet perfectly at home sliding to and fro. He doesn't truly understand your commands either, opting sometimes to merely stand and admire a car, rather than jump in and drive it! But maybe it's best not to get in a car at all, because the strolling Tanner seems invisible at points. The AI is set firmly on attacking you, for the most part, when you're behind a wheel. Step out to stretch your legs and the game seems to lose you. One example is the Trapped mission, where you're being chased through a shopping mall complex by a frenzied cop car. If you don't drive like a devil, you're as good as smashed to pieces, but there's a simple flaw you can manipulate to your own ends.

Get out of the car, shoot the policeman who's driving, and then go about your business. So many of these potentially difficult missions rely on nothing more than you stepping out, shooting, then driving off. Hardly 'Driver', is it?

The missions themselves are also too much to believe. You are an undercover cop, yet you have the wholesale slaughter of entire police divisions on your hands. You have to smash, burn, blow up and maim hundreds of policemen throughout your batty missions, but never suffer the consequences of killing them, besides being greeted with another wave arriving for a similar fate. Their presence is also dubious. Go a nudge over the speed limit and you're set upon with all the hellish force of the law, yet spend minutes at a time blowing up cars and killing people in a very nasty manner and not a single siren will be heard! The level at which you obtain a wanted status isn't incremental. You're either hunted to extinction until they eventually kill you or, simply, you're not.

One of the fundamental rules of a game is that, should you die, it is through your own doing, not because the game is flawed. However, such is the randomness and unpredictability of Driv3r's enemy AI, you could die because the game doesn't know in what measure it should react to your actions. And don't even get us started on the CPU drivers in the cities. They'd as happily cross the central reservation to pull into a non-existent road as they would drive off a cliff!

Driv3r is a big, metal box of contradictions. On one hand it is programming perfection. The cars have been designed and implemented to almost anal detail. They are a joy to drive. It's just a shame that what you are then asked to do with your dream cars, and the constraints the game places on you, render the fun pretty much void.

If only the AI, mission structure and level design had as much attention lavished on them, we could be looking at a classic. As it is, Driv3r is little more than a showcase for Reflection's ability to create superbly realistic vehicle models muddied with horrendously misplaced storytelling and AI that could be put to shame by a toaster.

1. Chitty Bang Bang
   Look out for the grenade launcher. It causes huge amounts of damage to enemy cars and is great for dispersing road blocks and other obstacles you encounter. Watch where the grenade falls though - they have a tendency to bounce back and land too close to you.
2. Pick Me Up
   Enemies can be careless - they sometimes drop their weapons. Make sure you scoot over to them and scoop up everything you can. You'll need some mighty big weapons if you're thinking of stopping some of those artic trucks that try and squash you flat.
3. Live Dreams
   Although Driv3r is 'Live', unfortunately this doesn't mean you can play co-op on split-screen with your mates. Instead, the Live compatibility simply allows you friends to see you're playing Driv3r at the time. Oh, well, here's hoping Driv4r will manage it.
4. Blue Away
   When you aim your gun at people, if a blue target appears over them, don't kill them - they're innocent. Mind you, we did burst open a door in a level to find a blue target appearing over the head of a hired lady 'kneeling down' in front of a man. Surely that's illegal behaviour?
5. Hot Wheels
   If you see flames licking out of your engine, get out of your vehicle as soon as you can, it will blow up within a few seconds. This is a great way of taking out cops too. Just aim your car at them, and dive out before it goes off!

1. Beautifully rendered cars
2. Flawless physics
3. Plenty o' violence

1. Most stupid AI ever
2. Pop-up on an Xbox!
3. Particularly dumb missions and story

Power
It has pop-up, there are too few cars on the roads, the AI is dumb... this is not an Xbox workout.

Style
It's a little soulless, but sit in a Mustang for a while and you can almost touch some form of style.

Immersion
When you're not on a mission, you could spend hours pottering around the highways killing folks.

Lifespan
Mmm... how long can you Take A Drive? There's your answer in a nutshell, pal.

Summary
Stupid game with bacon-saving four-wheeled beauties. After gameplay of any depth or merit? You're in the wrong place.