Previous Next

This one comes straight from the heart of the gutter (press). It's a five part piece of arcade garbage that sails so close to the wind that is author may well find himself on a one-way tour to the Tower.

The destiny of the nation is in your hands. You must help the Royal Couple do what comes naturally whilst listening to suitably regal procreation music (no, it's not 'Careless Whisper').

Screen one is a topsy-turvy version of Space Invaders, with the meanies replaced by potties, and the mothership by a nappy. The potty bombs bring a whole new dimension to the idea of Splat! Though it adds weight to the argument that royals are just like you and me.

Successful retaliatory shots to the potty bombs (number two screen, you might say) with toilet rolls bring you to the next stage. This is where it starts getting a little naughty. You must lead Charles to the haven of his nuptial bed. If everything goes according to the laws of nature then it's your job to watch over Di for the next nine months.

She must fulfil her engagements, by avoiding or shooting persistent press houds (the game might yet go down well at Buck House). Finally it's time for that mad dash to the hospital via a scrolling maze with all obstacles. Finally, our heroine is forced to negotiate a ladder complex evading a syringe and catching the baby as it's dropped by a flight of passing storks. (That'll teach 'em not to use the NHS!)

Yes, it's really this mucky... We are not amused, and neither it seems are those concerned - all we could get from Buck House was a terse 'no comment'. This game is for bad taste enthusiasts everywhere. Loyalists will hate it, Willie Hamilton supporters will love it.

The royals have so far evaded the attention of software houses - about the only part of the publishing world that has so far not tried to capitalise on royalty. It can surely only be a matter of time though before we will be made to cringe at Royal adventure games.